Sorry guys, I couldn't post last night ... this platform was receiving maintenance.
Yesterday ... where to begin? I arrived at the hospital at about 10 am. Conor was in very good spirits. They had had him sitting in a chair beside his bed for about 3-4 minutes. He was quite chatty and wanted to discuss the possibility of a replacement vehicle (!?) I explained that it would be quite some time before we were in that position.
He was visited yesterday by a neuropsychologist and a speech pathologist. Both asked him a series of questions to see where he was in his head. I was able to remain to listen. He answered about 80% of the questions spot on ... and seemed to have the most difficulty answering questions about the events surrounding the accident ... and questions about the present (date, time of day, etc).
He had shephard's pie for lunch (wouldn't touch it) but ate his salad, some cream of broccoli soup and a few grapes. He got a serious lecture from me about being picky .. you know the one ... food is fuel -- you don't have to enjoy it --- and the serious one about the loss of muscle mass. Eat protein, ingest calories ... That seemed to work 'cause at supper time, he ate all the Chicken a la king (gross), broccoli, and a bit of rice. Left the chocolate pudding (very Conor-like) and drank the Timmy's we brought him.
But the big news of the day ... I was there to see Conor be put into a wheelchair. Yup! It was unbelievable. He was in excruciating pain getting out of bed ... breathe, buddy, breathe through the pain ... then he sat in the wheelchair, they adjusted all the legs etc. to make sure he was comfortable and Conor asked .... can I go now. Not sure whether he meant home or just around the ward ... but he clearly understands that the wheelchair means a certain amount of freedom. The wheels in that little head were starting to turn. Clearly he will have some difficulty given that he cannot use his right hand and his left leg ... but he's got a right leg that was more than willing to take on the challenge! Once the IV is removed (not quite yet as he's still receiving some antibiotics) and the catheter (hopefully today) there'll be no stopping him!
He sat in the chair for about 20-25 minutes. Sweat dripping off him -- quite the exertion --- but he was not going back to bed! Finally the drugs got the better of him (by the way the drugs are now given in pill form --- no more IV) and he got really sleepy. They put him bag into the bed (he wanted to do that himself and didn't want to wait for help --- my heart was in my mouth!) and he was sawing logs in no time and slept for a good two hours.
Yip EEEE!! My heart is singing I can tell you. Ciaran was able to see him last night at his best. The two of them were laughing ... yes real rib crushing, belly laughs ... at farts and at me! Man ... it felt good to be on the outside looking in!
That's all for now guys ... more later. Keep those thoughts and prayers directed Conor's way! Looks like the hard work is about to begin!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
BM
This will be a quick one ... it was a very tough day ... and it's taken its toll on me!
It was a good morning for Conor. The physios had him standing! Not for long ... but standing nonetheless. Today was the day that I told Conor that his dad had passed away. He has asked everyday since he began to speak. I have been able to deflect his question but responding with: Dad is with you ... Dad is watching over him. I was speaking to Conor's social worker and explained the situation and asked for her thoughts. She thought it best to let Conor know the truth now rather than later...later and there might be resentment. So .... Conor asked when I arrived. I very quietly explained that Dad had died in December. I also explained that we had all grieved his passing and that we all in a "good place" prior to Conor's accident. Conor looked at me and said ... "I'm sorry that I forgot". I asked him if he remembered and he slowly nodded his head, as two tears fell. I then added that he was perhaps confused because he had checked out a couple of times at the scene of the accident, and it was very likely that he got to see/speak to his Dad recently. I went on to say that Dad had remained on the other side, but that Conor was now back with us. Conor nodded his head ... and closed his eyes. Thankfully there was no agitation ... merely resignation.
I excused myself from Conor's bedside only to find I had had an audience. The x-ray techs were there to film his chest, the social worker and two nurses. The social worker quickly escorted me to a quiet room (a laundry cupboard) and praised me for handling it so well. It was, truly, the hardest thing I have ever, ever done! I was so frightened of Conor's reaction ... as it turned out ... there was nothing to be frightened of. My prayer tonight is that Conor retains that memory ... else this will be a nightmare version of Groundhog Day.
Onwards ... Conor is bored stiff and getting cranky! The lads at the LCBO are pitching in for a portable DVD. Hopefully ... fingers and toes crossed ... this will relieve some of the boredom. He insists that he can walk to the car ... or walk to the toilet ... and I've had to ask him to promise not to try unless there is a nurse or physio around!
The toilet ... turn away if you're timid! The first bowel movement ... Well, he's had a laxative ... he's had a suppository ... he's scheduled for a fleet enema! He is extremely agitated about the BM ... go figure ... and now that he's eating solid food (yup .... ham and potatoes tonight!) ... he's gotta get the first one out of the way to make room for all that grub!
We left him exhausted and sitting on the "potty" ... this saga will continue!
It was a good morning for Conor. The physios had him standing! Not for long ... but standing nonetheless. Today was the day that I told Conor that his dad had passed away. He has asked everyday since he began to speak. I have been able to deflect his question but responding with: Dad is with you ... Dad is watching over him. I was speaking to Conor's social worker and explained the situation and asked for her thoughts. She thought it best to let Conor know the truth now rather than later...later and there might be resentment. So .... Conor asked when I arrived. I very quietly explained that Dad had died in December. I also explained that we had all grieved his passing and that we all in a "good place" prior to Conor's accident. Conor looked at me and said ... "I'm sorry that I forgot". I asked him if he remembered and he slowly nodded his head, as two tears fell. I then added that he was perhaps confused because he had checked out a couple of times at the scene of the accident, and it was very likely that he got to see/speak to his Dad recently. I went on to say that Dad had remained on the other side, but that Conor was now back with us. Conor nodded his head ... and closed his eyes. Thankfully there was no agitation ... merely resignation.
I excused myself from Conor's bedside only to find I had had an audience. The x-ray techs were there to film his chest, the social worker and two nurses. The social worker quickly escorted me to a quiet room (a laundry cupboard) and praised me for handling it so well. It was, truly, the hardest thing I have ever, ever done! I was so frightened of Conor's reaction ... as it turned out ... there was nothing to be frightened of. My prayer tonight is that Conor retains that memory ... else this will be a nightmare version of Groundhog Day.
Onwards ... Conor is bored stiff and getting cranky! The lads at the LCBO are pitching in for a portable DVD. Hopefully ... fingers and toes crossed ... this will relieve some of the boredom. He insists that he can walk to the car ... or walk to the toilet ... and I've had to ask him to promise not to try unless there is a nurse or physio around!
The toilet ... turn away if you're timid! The first bowel movement ... Well, he's had a laxative ... he's had a suppository ... he's scheduled for a fleet enema! He is extremely agitated about the BM ... go figure ... and now that he's eating solid food (yup .... ham and potatoes tonight!) ... he's gotta get the first one out of the way to make room for all that grub!
We left him exhausted and sitting on the "potty" ... this saga will continue!
About me and Ciaran ...
I get a lot of questions about how the two of us are doing ... so allow me this diversion.
We are surviving on the kindness of others ... we have become honorary members of the Bolger family and eat there quite regularly. Kathy is unbelievably generous and a great chef ... I think Ciaran secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) wishes this setup would continue.
Biff (our neighbour) has been providing regular delicacies from his organic butchery ... and has even made Ciaran his favourite .... alfredo sauce. Sharon (our neighbour) brought over Ciaran's favourite cake yesterday ... a butter pecan. Cousin Susan made a humongous pot of stew on the first weekend and I will have lunches for months to come. Jimmy and Susan treated me to a truly gourmet meal ...Chuck and Kim (and their daughter Maggie) have put together a week's worth of soups and chillies (and Maggie made peanut butter cookies. One of Ciaran's friends, Meaghan, had her mother put together a gourmet meal complete with ham & cheese bread, fruit salad, butter tarts (my favourite) and nanaimo bars. We lack for nothing in the food department ... we are well fuelled. Food is comfort for a reason .... and honestly ... it is a luxury not to have to think about whether Ciaran is getting proper nourishment. We are living high on the hog ... and we thank you.
Ciaran went back to school immediately ... insisted upon it. He has been my press secretary for the past 10 days and does an admirable job. Does it take a toll on him ... you betcha! But he has stepped up to the plate and knows that the flow of information is so important. The blog has taken a lot of the pressure off .. but he remains ready to do his part. God bless him ... he has been through so much in the past year. He has matured beyond his years and never complains. He has a few "moments" --- as have I --- but he is one strong young man!
And me ... well ... I'm doing what I need to do to keep the body in tact. The mind, of course, has a will of its own and sometimes we really don't have control over the direction it decides to take. My spirit is strong --- and stubborn and determined ---to do whatever is required to have my lad get to the other side of this. Don't underestimate the power of the spirit ... when the body is worn out and the mind is exhausted ... the spirit takes over!
This update is simply to let people know that we are okay ... we are positive ... and we are extremely grateful for all the concern, the love, and the support. The months ahead will be trying, but with your ongoing encouragement we (all three of us) will not only survive --- but thrive. Bless you all!
We are surviving on the kindness of others ... we have become honorary members of the Bolger family and eat there quite regularly. Kathy is unbelievably generous and a great chef ... I think Ciaran secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) wishes this setup would continue.
Biff (our neighbour) has been providing regular delicacies from his organic butchery ... and has even made Ciaran his favourite .... alfredo sauce. Sharon (our neighbour) brought over Ciaran's favourite cake yesterday ... a butter pecan. Cousin Susan made a humongous pot of stew on the first weekend and I will have lunches for months to come. Jimmy and Susan treated me to a truly gourmet meal ...Chuck and Kim (and their daughter Maggie) have put together a week's worth of soups and chillies (and Maggie made peanut butter cookies. One of Ciaran's friends, Meaghan, had her mother put together a gourmet meal complete with ham & cheese bread, fruit salad, butter tarts (my favourite) and nanaimo bars. We lack for nothing in the food department ... we are well fuelled. Food is comfort for a reason .... and honestly ... it is a luxury not to have to think about whether Ciaran is getting proper nourishment. We are living high on the hog ... and we thank you.
Ciaran went back to school immediately ... insisted upon it. He has been my press secretary for the past 10 days and does an admirable job. Does it take a toll on him ... you betcha! But he has stepped up to the plate and knows that the flow of information is so important. The blog has taken a lot of the pressure off .. but he remains ready to do his part. God bless him ... he has been through so much in the past year. He has matured beyond his years and never complains. He has a few "moments" --- as have I --- but he is one strong young man!
And me ... well ... I'm doing what I need to do to keep the body in tact. The mind, of course, has a will of its own and sometimes we really don't have control over the direction it decides to take. My spirit is strong --- and stubborn and determined ---to do whatever is required to have my lad get to the other side of this. Don't underestimate the power of the spirit ... when the body is worn out and the mind is exhausted ... the spirit takes over!
This update is simply to let people know that we are okay ... we are positive ... and we are extremely grateful for all the concern, the love, and the support. The months ahead will be trying, but with your ongoing encouragement we (all three of us) will not only survive --- but thrive. Bless you all!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Sitting up ...
Another good day!
I called the hospital this morning for a progress report. Seems Conor had taken matters into his own hands --- and removed the feeding tube. Appears he wasn't getting what he wanted at the speed he wanted it (sound familiar?!) So today the little porker had a whole can of ensure, loads of orange juice ... and I left him sleeping ... but with a coffee in waiting. He's gonna piss like a racehorse!
Brought in Ciaran's MP3 player so that Conor could listen to his music. He was able to manipulate that really well with his left hand ... muscle memory I think. He was also able to remember that Ciaran and he had placed a bet on the Colts - Eagles game and asked me where the money was ...
Physio was in this morning to get him sitting up on the side of the bed. Unbelievable! It didn't last long ... however ... another step in the right direction. His nurse today tried to have him sit up again. Conor was willing to show off to Jeff D and I. It was excruciatingly painful ... and he screamed long and hard and used profanity again. We got him comfortable and after the nurse apologized for putting him through it ... Conor apologized for failing. He explained that he would try again but he would have to do it his way. I believe this will be a theme ... I will do things my way. I see some verbal battles in my future! (and I soooo welcome them!)
I was able to view his x-ray today and the doctor showed me again the pneumo-thorax. It has not increased in size so they have adopted a wait & see attitude. While viewing the x-ray I was trying to find the broken ribs ... and then I spied the broken clavicle (collar bone). It is snapped in two and the two bones are about 1.5 inches apart. The nurse commented on it as well ... and has left a note for the ortho guys as to what the treatment plan for that is.
They have also consulted an opthamalogist to check his vision. He seems to have some problems visually ... however, the doctor does not think it is anything permanent. Stay tuned.
Ciaran is out right now at driver's ed .... yeah ... I know! and I am about to head off to the hospital for my final visit of the day. Had to pop home to let Joey out and make a couple phone calls. Wanted to get this post off now ... cause I might hit the sack early tonight.
To all of you ... each and every one of you ... thank you. I feel your love and good wishes all the time. You share in my joy ... and are there to support me when my energy starts to wane. My gratitude ...
I called the hospital this morning for a progress report. Seems Conor had taken matters into his own hands --- and removed the feeding tube. Appears he wasn't getting what he wanted at the speed he wanted it (sound familiar?!) So today the little porker had a whole can of ensure, loads of orange juice ... and I left him sleeping ... but with a coffee in waiting. He's gonna piss like a racehorse!
Brought in Ciaran's MP3 player so that Conor could listen to his music. He was able to manipulate that really well with his left hand ... muscle memory I think. He was also able to remember that Ciaran and he had placed a bet on the Colts - Eagles game and asked me where the money was ...
Physio was in this morning to get him sitting up on the side of the bed. Unbelievable! It didn't last long ... however ... another step in the right direction. His nurse today tried to have him sit up again. Conor was willing to show off to Jeff D and I. It was excruciatingly painful ... and he screamed long and hard and used profanity again. We got him comfortable and after the nurse apologized for putting him through it ... Conor apologized for failing. He explained that he would try again but he would have to do it his way. I believe this will be a theme ... I will do things my way. I see some verbal battles in my future! (and I soooo welcome them!)
I was able to view his x-ray today and the doctor showed me again the pneumo-thorax. It has not increased in size so they have adopted a wait & see attitude. While viewing the x-ray I was trying to find the broken ribs ... and then I spied the broken clavicle (collar bone). It is snapped in two and the two bones are about 1.5 inches apart. The nurse commented on it as well ... and has left a note for the ortho guys as to what the treatment plan for that is.
They have also consulted an opthamalogist to check his vision. He seems to have some problems visually ... however, the doctor does not think it is anything permanent. Stay tuned.
Ciaran is out right now at driver's ed .... yeah ... I know! and I am about to head off to the hospital for my final visit of the day. Had to pop home to let Joey out and make a couple phone calls. Wanted to get this post off now ... cause I might hit the sack early tonight.
To all of you ... each and every one of you ... thank you. I feel your love and good wishes all the time. You share in my joy ... and are there to support me when my energy starts to wane. My gratitude ...
Conor eats !
Sorry guys I didn't post this last night .... a couple of phone calls and the next thing you know ... it's time for bed.
Yesterday was a very good day. The chest tube was removed but they noticed a small pneumothorax (pocket of air surrounding the lung). They have him scheduled for another x-ray this morning to monitor it, but they stressed that it was very small.
Conor was very animated yesterday....and showed even more of the personality he's renowned for. Drum roll please .... the sarcasm is back! Some of his facial expressions ... keeping in mind the incredible level of morphine he's getting ... were vintage Conor. Some of his beautiful words yesterday:
Mum, I'm bored
Mum, when you leave --- can you sneak me out
Mum, I don't know why I'm here
Mum -- pull my finger
Yup ... Mum pull my finger --- ever the Lacey! He had a great conversation with his brother about setting up hip MP3 player with the appropriate music. Ciaran was on it as soon as he got home --- donating his own device 'cause Conor's is broke. Hopefully, all I have to do is plug it in when I get to the hospital ... that's the extent of my knowledge of the bloody things!
As you can imagine, Conor's mouth must feel like the inside of a bird cage. Yesterday, the nurse gave him an ice chip and he was able to swallow. Another reflex that has returned. I had to leave the hospital shortly thereafter and when I returned, Jeff D was standing there with Conor. The nursed asked Conor to tell me what he just had .... and Conor replied .... a popsicle! An orange popsicle!
The nurse also asked Conor if he would like to put on some underwear. Conor appeared mortified ... you mean I don't have any on. He was able to assist the nurses in covering his parts and rearranging the catheter --- and may I admit ... I was grateful. Enough of the flashing!
Later in the afternoon, Steve B and I were with Conor, when Conor asked for ice cream (completely out of character for Conor --- but cleverly a bit more substantial than a popsicle). Conspiratorially, the nurse admitted that popsicles were not "in the orders" --- but what the hell. A cherry popsicle is handed to Conor --- he's having a hard time focusing on it --- but he's on a mission. Straight to the mouth --- the mouth closes around it --- and Steve and I were able to witness a look of his face of pure unadulterated joy. Don't anybody talk ... just let me relish this. Steve and I giggled at his obvious enjoyment. The nurses are hopeful that the feeding tube can be removed shortly and Conor can expand his food options.
Also at the hospital yesterday were Kim L, Jill D, Nancy and Kathy, Tommy and Kayla. He was pretty worn out when we left ... and I was walking on air. A very, very good day!
Keep those good thoughts coming ... and close your eyes and imagine the taste of a popsicle after 8 days without food ... I know you'll be smiling too.
Yesterday was a very good day. The chest tube was removed but they noticed a small pneumothorax (pocket of air surrounding the lung). They have him scheduled for another x-ray this morning to monitor it, but they stressed that it was very small.
Conor was very animated yesterday....and showed even more of the personality he's renowned for. Drum roll please .... the sarcasm is back! Some of his facial expressions ... keeping in mind the incredible level of morphine he's getting ... were vintage Conor. Some of his beautiful words yesterday:
Mum, I'm bored
Mum, when you leave --- can you sneak me out
Mum, I don't know why I'm here
Mum -- pull my finger
Yup ... Mum pull my finger --- ever the Lacey! He had a great conversation with his brother about setting up hip MP3 player with the appropriate music. Ciaran was on it as soon as he got home --- donating his own device 'cause Conor's is broke. Hopefully, all I have to do is plug it in when I get to the hospital ... that's the extent of my knowledge of the bloody things!
As you can imagine, Conor's mouth must feel like the inside of a bird cage. Yesterday, the nurse gave him an ice chip and he was able to swallow. Another reflex that has returned. I had to leave the hospital shortly thereafter and when I returned, Jeff D was standing there with Conor. The nursed asked Conor to tell me what he just had .... and Conor replied .... a popsicle! An orange popsicle!
The nurse also asked Conor if he would like to put on some underwear. Conor appeared mortified ... you mean I don't have any on. He was able to assist the nurses in covering his parts and rearranging the catheter --- and may I admit ... I was grateful. Enough of the flashing!
Later in the afternoon, Steve B and I were with Conor, when Conor asked for ice cream (completely out of character for Conor --- but cleverly a bit more substantial than a popsicle). Conspiratorially, the nurse admitted that popsicles were not "in the orders" --- but what the hell. A cherry popsicle is handed to Conor --- he's having a hard time focusing on it --- but he's on a mission. Straight to the mouth --- the mouth closes around it --- and Steve and I were able to witness a look of his face of pure unadulterated joy. Don't anybody talk ... just let me relish this. Steve and I giggled at his obvious enjoyment. The nurses are hopeful that the feeding tube can be removed shortly and Conor can expand his food options.
Also at the hospital yesterday were Kim L, Jill D, Nancy and Kathy, Tommy and Kayla. He was pretty worn out when we left ... and I was walking on air. A very, very good day!
Keep those good thoughts coming ... and close your eyes and imagine the taste of a popsicle after 8 days without food ... I know you'll be smiling too.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
It's 8:00 am on Sunday morning. Sorry I didn't post last night but I went out to Tommy's for some of Scotty's birthday cake. Good to see all the Osgoodites and being able to fill them in on Conor's incredible progress.
Went to the hospital 3 times yesterday. Jill B and I visited in the morning and were pleased to see that the cervical collar (neck brace) has been removed. Obviously the results of the MRI that so worried me ... were normal. The stomach x-ray also was normal and showed nothing of any significance. He was able to nod his head and smiled a couple of times. He held my hand and was very responsive.
Ciaran and I visited in the afternoon ... he was a little less comfortable. He was quite agitated about having a bowel movement and said "I haven't had a shit in three days". To those of you who know Conor well ... you know how obsessive he is about his dumps! He was not successful ... sadly .... although pretty hard to do when you're lying flat on your back. Matt and Derek and Jess were there along with Scotty, Ciaran and I. We had a short visit each ... which he was able to snore through. As one of the nurses said as we commented on his deep sleep .... "this is when the real healing takes place".
I went back last night at about 8 and he was a little more agitated. The pain medication appear to have him a little delusional. He is still asking where his Dad is ... and I am better prepared. He also wanted me to turn on the music ... and was quite animated as he attempted to show me how to turn on his non-existent stereo. His frustration with my inability to make it work was very Conor-like ... and made me giggle. It's hard to know whether to jump in to his reality ... or bring him back to mine! Jess had brought him a humongous floppy dog that he proceeded to hug ... and he was able to remember that he has a dog called Joey.
I was able to tell him about the upcoming Chelsea / Man U game today, and the Colts and Eagles tonight! He actually smiled. A TV is out of the question at this time, sadly ... but we'll be letting him know the results. I am torn between his teams winning (Colts/Man U) and Ciaran's teams winning ...
Called the Trauma Unit earlier today and they were able to tell me that his chest tube has been removed ... yeeeehahhh!. There are only two tubes left --- the nose tube (at the moment on drain --- to get all the crap out) and the catheter (for pee). Doesn't like that one at all --- and for all you guys out there you can imagine why! One of the nurses in the ICU told me back in the early days that the true sign of progress is the removal of all the tubes (the life support) ... he is able now to support his own life. Truly extraordinary!
Keep that positive energy flowing. One of the young lads Conor talks with online asked if good thoughts were the same as prayers ... you betcha! And they are working so keep them coming!
More later ...
Went to the hospital 3 times yesterday. Jill B and I visited in the morning and were pleased to see that the cervical collar (neck brace) has been removed. Obviously the results of the MRI that so worried me ... were normal. The stomach x-ray also was normal and showed nothing of any significance. He was able to nod his head and smiled a couple of times. He held my hand and was very responsive.
Ciaran and I visited in the afternoon ... he was a little less comfortable. He was quite agitated about having a bowel movement and said "I haven't had a shit in three days". To those of you who know Conor well ... you know how obsessive he is about his dumps! He was not successful ... sadly .... although pretty hard to do when you're lying flat on your back. Matt and Derek and Jess were there along with Scotty, Ciaran and I. We had a short visit each ... which he was able to snore through. As one of the nurses said as we commented on his deep sleep .... "this is when the real healing takes place".
I went back last night at about 8 and he was a little more agitated. The pain medication appear to have him a little delusional. He is still asking where his Dad is ... and I am better prepared. He also wanted me to turn on the music ... and was quite animated as he attempted to show me how to turn on his non-existent stereo. His frustration with my inability to make it work was very Conor-like ... and made me giggle. It's hard to know whether to jump in to his reality ... or bring him back to mine! Jess had brought him a humongous floppy dog that he proceeded to hug ... and he was able to remember that he has a dog called Joey.
I was able to tell him about the upcoming Chelsea / Man U game today, and the Colts and Eagles tonight! He actually smiled. A TV is out of the question at this time, sadly ... but we'll be letting him know the results. I am torn between his teams winning (Colts/Man U) and Ciaran's teams winning ...
Called the Trauma Unit earlier today and they were able to tell me that his chest tube has been removed ... yeeeehahhh!. There are only two tubes left --- the nose tube (at the moment on drain --- to get all the crap out) and the catheter (for pee). Doesn't like that one at all --- and for all you guys out there you can imagine why! One of the nurses in the ICU told me back in the early days that the true sign of progress is the removal of all the tubes (the life support) ... he is able now to support his own life. Truly extraordinary!
Keep that positive energy flowing. One of the young lads Conor talks with online asked if good thoughts were the same as prayers ... you betcha! And they are working so keep them coming!
More later ...
Friday, November 24, 2006
Friday, 21 November 2006
A pivotal day! Conor had the surgery to close his fasciotomies (leg slits). This took about four hours. The surgery was uneventful, however, I have yet to speak with the surgeons. He did not need skin grafts. I was unable to get in to see him until about 4:30 this afternoon.
When I arrived, the nurses informed me that they had scheduled him for an x-ray of the abdomen. They thought their might have been some type of obstruction. Since last night he has vomited a couple of times and ripped his nose tube out. They have had to restrain him (doesn't like that at all!)
He is extremely active and unbelievable strong. He cannot seem to get comfortable and was quite groggy after the anaesthetic. But he spoke ... and he spoke ... and he spoke. He asked me when he was going home. This question was repeated many times during my visit. He also asked where his Dad was ... those who know me know that I am rarely lost for words ...
I told him that his Dad was watching over him ... and then my heart proceeded to break!
Apart from this ... Conor was certainly in the moment. He was able to tell the nurses where he worked (the address on Bank Street) and how long he had been working there. He was able to speak with each of his friends and shook hands, held hands and gave props. His speech is altered but it is coherent. He speaks in full sentences ...."Mum, can I go home with you?" He knows he has been in an accident and he knows that he is receiving the care he needs. He knows that everyone is coming to the hospital ... but for a mother ... walking away is next to impossible. I walked to my car alone, slid inside, and wept uncontrollably.
I don't want to appear ungrateful. The progress Conor has made in the past week is miraculous ... truly astounding! And I am truly humbled by his fight and unfathomable strength. To the parents reading this you'll clearly remember ... to the young people out there, you'll might have a recollection ...
When I arrived, the nurses informed me that they had scheduled him for an x-ray of the abdomen. They thought their might have been some type of obstruction. Since last night he has vomited a couple of times and ripped his nose tube out. They have had to restrain him (doesn't like that at all!)
He is extremely active and unbelievable strong. He cannot seem to get comfortable and was quite groggy after the anaesthetic. But he spoke ... and he spoke ... and he spoke. He asked me when he was going home. This question was repeated many times during my visit. He also asked where his Dad was ... those who know me know that I am rarely lost for words ...
I told him that his Dad was watching over him ... and then my heart proceeded to break!
Apart from this ... Conor was certainly in the moment. He was able to tell the nurses where he worked (the address on Bank Street) and how long he had been working there. He was able to speak with each of his friends and shook hands, held hands and gave props. His speech is altered but it is coherent. He speaks in full sentences ...."Mum, can I go home with you?" He knows he has been in an accident and he knows that he is receiving the care he needs. He knows that everyone is coming to the hospital ... but for a mother ... walking away is next to impossible. I walked to my car alone, slid inside, and wept uncontrollably.
I don't want to appear ungrateful. The progress Conor has made in the past week is miraculous ... truly astounding! And I am truly humbled by his fight and unfathomable strength. To the parents reading this you'll clearly remember ... to the young people out there, you'll might have a recollection ...
I'll love you forever
I'll love you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be
This man lying in the hospital bed that seems too small for him ... is my baby! Leaving him behind, to the care of others, is harder than anything I have ever done before. That I lack the skills necessary to provide the proper care is irrelevant .... I'm his mother!
But ... I am resolute. I will learn to let others use their skill, and I will supplement their skill with love. To those of you that can visit Conor ... bring your love and give it openly and proudly knowing that you are a vital part of his recovery. That we have to leave him behind each night means nothing ... To those of you that are unable to visit ... think about him often and know that you, too, are bolstering his incredible strength. Don't diminish the power of positive thought ... despite the miles between you.
And I need you too. The cards, the phone calls, the posts on this blog --- all help me and Ciaran immeasurably. I am what you all make me ... I am only as strong as the crutches I have to lean on. I cannot walk this path without your love and support.
Say a special prayer tonight ... of gratitude ... and of hope.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
His first words
Just before I head off to bed ...
The nurse called tonight to confirm that the surgery had been cancelled. She also reported that Conor vomited ... new scrubs for her and new dressings etc. for Conor ... and while she was turning him in the bed .... he told her to f... off! His first words ... and I am so thrilled! As any good mother would ... I apologized on Conor's behalf but added that I was "over the moon". She admitted that the real reason for the call was to report this incredible milestone!
Can't wait to get to the hospital tomorrow to wash that mouth out with soap! and hug that right toe .... I'm so proud "B"! That's my boy!!!
The nurse called tonight to confirm that the surgery had been cancelled. She also reported that Conor vomited ... new scrubs for her and new dressings etc. for Conor ... and while she was turning him in the bed .... he told her to f... off! His first words ... and I am so thrilled! As any good mother would ... I apologized on Conor's behalf but added that I was "over the moon". She admitted that the real reason for the call was to report this incredible milestone!
Can't wait to get to the hospital tomorrow to wash that mouth out with soap! and hug that right toe .... I'm so proud "B"! That's my boy!!!
Thursday ... 23 November 2006
Another big day for Conor. He was moved from the ICU to the Trauma Unit. As said before ... a step down in care .. a step closer to recovery. The Trauma Unit is not like the ICU ... visiting hours are from 3 - 8 pm....still only two at a time.
Conor went for the MRI and they found some brain fluid and spinal fluid where it shouldn't be. Unfortunately, no one is around to interpret this for me ... another trauma came in which required the attention of all the ortho guys. I will let you know when I have more information. He was also scheduled today to have his leg slits closed .... that too was bumped.
The dressing on his abdominal incision has been removed ... and the staples look clean. He's lying on his back (the neck injury) and is terribly uncomfortable. He doesn't like to cough ... obviously ... but seems to be clearing his lungs admirably under the circumstances. The trauma unit has asked that I bring in shampoo and deodorant and other grooming type stuff including clothes etc! Needless to say ... I never thought this request would come so soon.
I'm keeping my chin up ... harder today than yesterday ... but no one promised me a smooth road. All in all .... just happy to be on a road.
Prayers required tonight ....
Conor went for the MRI and they found some brain fluid and spinal fluid where it shouldn't be. Unfortunately, no one is around to interpret this for me ... another trauma came in which required the attention of all the ortho guys. I will let you know when I have more information. He was also scheduled today to have his leg slits closed .... that too was bumped.
The dressing on his abdominal incision has been removed ... and the staples look clean. He's lying on his back (the neck injury) and is terribly uncomfortable. He doesn't like to cough ... obviously ... but seems to be clearing his lungs admirably under the circumstances. The trauma unit has asked that I bring in shampoo and deodorant and other grooming type stuff including clothes etc! Needless to say ... I never thought this request would come so soon.
I'm keeping my chin up ... harder today than yesterday ... but no one promised me a smooth road. All in all .... just happy to be on a road.
Prayers required tonight ....
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Wednesday Night
Tonight was superb ... one of Conor's workmate / soccer buddies dropped by to visit. Conor was very responsive. Frankie plays soccer with Conor and said something along the lines of "go deep buddy -- deep ball". Conor turned his head towards Frankie, raised his broken hand ... and proceeded to "give props" (for us old timers ... a high five). I wish I had a picture of the look on Frankie's face ... pure unadulterated joy. Needless to say ... I was "verklempt". Conor's buds were all at the hospital ... Matt, Derek, Randy, Corey, Marshy, Jess and Brittany ... and had to be lectured by the nurse (and me) about keeping him up so late.
Ciaran had his first visit since Saturday night and was duly impressed by what he saw ... I believe his response was something along the lines of ... "they had us all worried for nothing". They're hoping to repair the "slits" in his legs tomorrow ... the slits (called fasciotomies) were there to allow the incredible amount of fluid building up in his calf to escape. The slits are something to see ... they're talking about skin grafts to seal them up. He's gonna have some pretty impressive scars to talk about ....
They're also talking about moving him from ICU to the Trauma Ward ... a step down in care but a step up on the journey to recovery. This should happen either tomorrow or Friday ... don't worry ... I'll post the details. Same floor ... just down the hall.
Good night ... God bless ... and keep those good vibes comin'
Ciaran had his first visit since Saturday night and was duly impressed by what he saw ... I believe his response was something along the lines of ... "they had us all worried for nothing". They're hoping to repair the "slits" in his legs tomorrow ... the slits (called fasciotomies) were there to allow the incredible amount of fluid building up in his calf to escape. The slits are something to see ... they're talking about skin grafts to seal them up. He's gonna have some pretty impressive scars to talk about ....
They're also talking about moving him from ICU to the Trauma Ward ... a step down in care but a step up on the journey to recovery. This should happen either tomorrow or Friday ... don't worry ... I'll post the details. Same floor ... just down the hall.
Good night ... God bless ... and keep those good vibes comin'
Just returned from the hospital (2:00 on 21 November 2006) and am happy to report that Conor has had the respirator removed. He is now completely breathing on his own ... simply an oxygen mask. The doctors have also confirmed that his neck is NOT broken. He is scheduled for an MRI to rule out ligament damage ... if that's all clear the neck brace comes off.
He is responding to the sound of my voice and turns his head to me when he hears me speak. He is in obvious pain but .... pain is life! He is fighting physically to get out of the bed, and I sure hope the nurses have weight training cause he's gonna be a handful.
I'm enjoying this high while I can ... it will sustain me during the not so positive episodes to come. I am realistic and know that he has a long road to hoe ... but we'll get there with all the love and support direct Conor's way. Might even enjoy a wee Drambuie tonight!
Getting this started
Hi Guys,
Conor's mum here ready to update you about how Conor is doing. Yesterday was a very good day. He managed to open his eyes on command and wiggled his toes ... moved his good leg .... and passed gas! That's my boy .. his dad would be so proud. The doctors are hopeful that today his respirator will be removed and they will be able to decrease the level of sedation. Once the sedation is removed, the doc's will be better able to assess the extent of his brain damage. He's certainly headed in the right direction .... and please God it continues.
I've set up the blog to allow you all to record your thoughts, your observations (if you're able to visit Conor) and just as a forum for you all to get together and share stuff about Conor. Conor is unlikely to have any recollection of these early days of his recovery .... so this can act as a kind of history for him and may act to fill in the darkspots .... and let him know how much he's loved.
On that note, I just want to let you all know how much your love and support, your prayers and positive thoughts mean to me and to Ciaran. They are what get me up in the morning and give me the strength to do what needs to be done. From the bottom of my heart .... thank you.
For those of you who may not know ....
Conor was involved in a car accident with an OCTranspo bus. This occurred at 6:15 am on Saturday, 18 Nov 2006. Conor had to be cut out of the car and his injuries were life threatening. The hard work of the fire fighters and the tenacity of the paramedics in not letting Conor check out .... saved his life. He arrived at the hospital at 7:00 am and the journey began.
Here's the list of his many injuries :
All thoughts are welcome .... so please post often. I'd be grateful if you would use your real names when you're signing your blogs ... just so Conor knows who you are (and me too!)
Keep those prayers and good wishes coming ....
Conor's mum here ready to update you about how Conor is doing. Yesterday was a very good day. He managed to open his eyes on command and wiggled his toes ... moved his good leg .... and passed gas! That's my boy .. his dad would be so proud. The doctors are hopeful that today his respirator will be removed and they will be able to decrease the level of sedation. Once the sedation is removed, the doc's will be better able to assess the extent of his brain damage. He's certainly headed in the right direction .... and please God it continues.
I've set up the blog to allow you all to record your thoughts, your observations (if you're able to visit Conor) and just as a forum for you all to get together and share stuff about Conor. Conor is unlikely to have any recollection of these early days of his recovery .... so this can act as a kind of history for him and may act to fill in the darkspots .... and let him know how much he's loved.
On that note, I just want to let you all know how much your love and support, your prayers and positive thoughts mean to me and to Ciaran. They are what get me up in the morning and give me the strength to do what needs to be done. From the bottom of my heart .... thank you.
For those of you who may not know ....
Conor was involved in a car accident with an OCTranspo bus. This occurred at 6:15 am on Saturday, 18 Nov 2006. Conor had to be cut out of the car and his injuries were life threatening. The hard work of the fire fighters and the tenacity of the paramedics in not letting Conor check out .... saved his life. He arrived at the hospital at 7:00 am and the journey began.
Here's the list of his many injuries :
- Brain contusion (bruise) which cannot as yet be assessed
- Suspected fractured neck (the doctors now believe its just soft tissue damage)
- Fractured clavicle (collar bone)
- Fractured ribs which punctured his lung
- Broken right wrist which has been pinned
- Internal bleeding which resulted in the removal of his spleen and repair to his liver
- Open fracture (bone broke through skin) of his left thigh bone which required a metal rod being inserted through his knee to his hip
All thoughts are welcome .... so please post often. I'd be grateful if you would use your real names when you're signing your blogs ... just so Conor knows who you are (and me too!)
Keep those prayers and good wishes coming ....
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