This is tough....and and bittersweet ... truth be told, I really don't know where to begin.
The update .... Conor has now been cleared by ALL the doctors. The last was the Neuropsychologist. There is some minor residual effects from the brain damage ... but there is every reason to expect complete recovery in the coming months. The neuropsych exam took place just 6 months post-injury (early days in the progress of a Traumatic Brain Injury ... the usual recovery is 2 years). Conor still has some "visual tracking" problems, for example ... connect the dots ... catching a ball at close range. With practice and exercise .. these will clear up.
He now walks without a limp. Extraordinary! He is well into a 'work hardening" programme with the physiotherapist ... and there is every expectation that he will return to work in September! The journey ... my friends ... is coming to an end.
My holiday was ... incredible. What a spectacular country we live in. For those of you out there that have never travelled through the Rockies ... highly recommended. Conor and Ciaran did quite well without me ... and met my three criteria for a happy return ... the pool was blue .. the flowers weren't dead ... and Joey was alive! Reasonable expectations...tremendous result.
The farewell . . .
When I started this 8 months ago ... it was a vehicle for communicating to friends and family updates on Conor's condition. When I started this, Conor was in a coma ... his body shattered ... every breath, every heartbeat monitored. When I started this, I was numb (the body and soul protecting itself) and unaware of what I had created when I started this blog and how it would take on a life of its own. It became for me much more than a forum for communicating Conor's ever improving condition ... it became cathartic and therapeutic and comfortable ... like an old blanket. I wrapped myself in this blog. And now, my dear friends, it is time to shed the blanket ... and it is hard.
Over the months, a diverse group of people have visited this site. People from all over the world (Canada, Ireland, England, China, Australia, US, South Africa) have logged in to read the latest update. People I work with, people Conor works with, family members, friends (internet and real world), friends of friends, doctors offices, dentists offices, prime minister's offices, have all been connected by this site. It is incredible, really, when you think about it. We were all linked -- despite being separated by time and distance -- by our shared hope for Conor's recovery. Surreal!
As the months passed, the tone of the blog changed. It became less dramatic, less urgent. It allowed me the opportunity to vent ... to wax philosophical ... to pour out my soul to all of you. I have caught up with a lot of you in person. You comment on how open and unguarded the blog was ... that my dear friends ... was the numbness receding. I feel a little embarrassed at how much of me I revealed in cyberspace. But I don't regret one single word I wrote. When I can, I like to go back to the very early posts. My God ... it was like reading a script to a movie of the week. These kinds of things don't happen to real people ... but we all know ... they do. This blog has allowed me to connect with all of you ... we have cried together, and prayed together, and hoped together. I did not face this alone ... and this blog made that very clear to me.
The gratitude I feel ... really ... cannot be expressed. The acts of raw kindness have touched me in ways I cannot put words to. The gift of your prayers ... your positive thoughts ... is a gift that cannot be reciprocated in this life time. The debt I owe ... I will have to take with me to the grave. But if there's a tally kept by the Man Upstairs ... rest assured that you're all in the black. I am humbled by your generosity, and am brought to tears whenever I think of just what you all have meant to me. From the bottom of my heart ... I thank you. You have made such a difference in my life, and in the lives of my sons. We three ... are whole ... and healing ... and on the path to full recovery.
In order for me to do this with some semblance of dignity ... I must convince myself that this is not good-bye. I must console myself with the reassurance that you are all real people and in my life outside of this blog. It is difficult to let the blog go ... but let it go I must ... A Record of Conor's Recovery ... let the last line be written. Conor is recovered ... and his journey through life will continue.
To those of you separated from me by great distance ... my email is rose-lacey@rogers.com. I will welcome your communication. Again .. for all your individual acts of kindness ... I thank you. You have been involved in a miracle ... and you should be extremely proud of the contribution you have made to the recovery of not only Conor ... but of three .... extremely grateful people. Till we are able to meet again .... I hold you all in my heart ... God bless you all
Friday, July 27, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
A quick note
Well ... here I sit ... kids our out (end of the school year --- don't you know) .. with Drambuie and Starbucks in hand. I'm gathering together all the clothes I'll need for my jaunt out west. Thought I'd give you a quick update before I leave.
Lots of news to report. Conor had the surgery to remove the bolts from his knee. The operation took about 45 minutes .... general anaesthetic included ... and he walked away from the surgery. I brought the crutches to the hospital as per instructions .. they were shunned by Conor! An amazing young man. In his words ... it felt like his knee had been hit with a wrench .... but pain free (?!) for the first time in six months. If this seems contradictory ... well ... it is! He had the surgery on June 12th ... uncle Johnny was in town trying to get the water at the cottage sorted out ... and can vouch for the fact that Conor was walking after the surgery. They had given him one tablet of morphine immediately after the surgery ... I gave him one more later that night .... then it was on to good old Tylenol. At one point (while on the morphine) he said ... "Is it wrong to enjoy this feeling?"
We visited the ortho 3 days after the surgery and he doesn't want to see Conor again until November. Yup ... you guessed it ... I lost it big time. This is the last doctor on Conor's list. I wrapped my arms around him (no easy feat I might add - orthos are generally very large men) and gave him a heartfelt hug. I cried for a good long while ... and again .. poor Conor just doesn't understand the meltdowns. I get teary eyed now ... just thinking about the end being in reach.
On the Monday after the surgery, Conor had an appointment with the sports medicine specialist. He confirmed that Conor has a Grade I injury to the Posterior Cruciate Ligament (PCL). He advised that they do not even consider surgery until the injury is a Grade III ... bottom line ... work your buns off little man ... no surgery for you! The smile on Conor's face was memorable ... brought to mind the first time Conor went outside after the accident. We're done ... physiotherapy will continue big time .. no limitations. Conor should be ready to return to work by the end of the summer! No more doctor's appointments until November!
Now that we're at the end of this incredible road .... I realize all the potholes and pitfalls that we've dodged. I am so incredibly aware of the path we might have travelled ... but with the help of God and all your good thoughts and prayers .. we have evaded that dark road. I am so relieved. Being Irish ... I cannot help but be cautious ... and wait for the other shoe to fall! Still ... I am so optimistic. That I have received all this incredible news now ... just before my first child-free holiday in 22 years ... I feel sure it is a sign.
Please rejoice with me. Our present situation is due ... in no small part ... to all of you. I am extremely pleased to share it with you all. Thank you from the bottom of my joyous heart. I will not wrap up the blog tonight ... I cannot. When I return from my holiday ... refreshed ... I will try and do justice to what you have all meant to me ... and to my sons.
Until then ... be proud of your accomplishment! You have made a huge difference in the lives of three people ... three people who owe you a debt that may never be repaid. Bless you all . . .
Lots of news to report. Conor had the surgery to remove the bolts from his knee. The operation took about 45 minutes .... general anaesthetic included ... and he walked away from the surgery. I brought the crutches to the hospital as per instructions .. they were shunned by Conor! An amazing young man. In his words ... it felt like his knee had been hit with a wrench .... but pain free (?!) for the first time in six months. If this seems contradictory ... well ... it is! He had the surgery on June 12th ... uncle Johnny was in town trying to get the water at the cottage sorted out ... and can vouch for the fact that Conor was walking after the surgery. They had given him one tablet of morphine immediately after the surgery ... I gave him one more later that night .... then it was on to good old Tylenol. At one point (while on the morphine) he said ... "Is it wrong to enjoy this feeling?"
We visited the ortho 3 days after the surgery and he doesn't want to see Conor again until November. Yup ... you guessed it ... I lost it big time. This is the last doctor on Conor's list. I wrapped my arms around him (no easy feat I might add - orthos are generally very large men) and gave him a heartfelt hug. I cried for a good long while ... and again .. poor Conor just doesn't understand the meltdowns. I get teary eyed now ... just thinking about the end being in reach.
On the Monday after the surgery, Conor had an appointment with the sports medicine specialist. He confirmed that Conor has a Grade I injury to the Posterior Cruciate Ligament (PCL). He advised that they do not even consider surgery until the injury is a Grade III ... bottom line ... work your buns off little man ... no surgery for you! The smile on Conor's face was memorable ... brought to mind the first time Conor went outside after the accident. We're done ... physiotherapy will continue big time .. no limitations. Conor should be ready to return to work by the end of the summer! No more doctor's appointments until November!
Now that we're at the end of this incredible road .... I realize all the potholes and pitfalls that we've dodged. I am so incredibly aware of the path we might have travelled ... but with the help of God and all your good thoughts and prayers .. we have evaded that dark road. I am so relieved. Being Irish ... I cannot help but be cautious ... and wait for the other shoe to fall! Still ... I am so optimistic. That I have received all this incredible news now ... just before my first child-free holiday in 22 years ... I feel sure it is a sign.
Please rejoice with me. Our present situation is due ... in no small part ... to all of you. I am extremely pleased to share it with you all. Thank you from the bottom of my joyous heart. I will not wrap up the blog tonight ... I cannot. When I return from my holiday ... refreshed ... I will try and do justice to what you have all meant to me ... and to my sons.
Until then ... be proud of your accomplishment! You have made a huge difference in the lives of three people ... three people who owe you a debt that may never be repaid. Bless you all . . .
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Winding Down
As many of you will have noticed over the past couple of months, the frequency with which I post is dwindling. This is not a reflection of my desire to post ... trust me .. the desire to write remains ... but it is indicative of the real lack of "news".
This forum has served many purposes. In the very beginning, it took some of the pressure off Ciaran. Despite his many talents ... press officer was a new one. I think, at times, all the medical terminology overwhelmed him and I think he truly understood only half of what was going on. All he cared about was whether his brother was --- at first ... going to live; and later ... going to be whole. And you know what ... with all the medical techno-jargon that I have picked up over the past 6 and a half months; I think Ciaran had it right. However -- for me --- being able to write it all down, having a record of what was happening hour by hour, day by day --- was a means for me to put order to the chaos that was my mind at the time. I look back at some of the older posts ... the posts that occurred while Conor was still on life support ... and I am able to vividly relive those days ... I am able to feel what I felt at the time with all the intensity. I get goose bumps. I am both amazed and proud of how Ciaran and I were able to survive those early days. The blog is a permanent record of that accomplishment. More than anything though ... the blog was a vehicle for my hope, my fears, my gratitude. It was (and to a certain extent still is) cathartic and therapeutic. I shall miss it when it goes ... not today my friends ... but soon. The road to recovery is almost complete.
An update . . .
On 18 May, Conor had an appointment with his orthopaedic surgeon for his leg. There appears to have been some cartilage damage (go figure) and his ortho has referred him to a sports medicine specialist. For all you aging athletes out there ... you may know of what I speak. Conor's cruciate ligaments (both anterior and posterior) are extremely loose. They are not holding Conor's knee joint together well enough for real strengthening to take place. Hopefully ... on 18 June, we will see what is planned. As for the ortho ... he is scheduling Conor to have the bolts in his knee removed ... six months ahead of schedule. The bolts cause Conor considerable pain whenever he moves as they jut out a few millimeters and rub on the soft tissue surrounding the knee. Again ... this is impeding Conor's progress with physio ... as he has reached a plateau. He really can't go any further until the bolts are removed. So hopefully ... in the next few weeks ... Conor will undergo "Day Surgery" for the removal. The ortho is certain that the recovery will be speedy.
Today, we went again to visit the wrist specialist. We were able to look at Conor's wrist today ...vs... on 18 November ... and well --- I cried. Remember back in the beginning, an ICU nurse told me that the true sign of progress was the removal of all the equipment, and the lack of interested doctors. Well today ... we have one less doctor. The "rice krispies" have bonded together to create a fully functional and strong wrist. He was amazed at Conor's improvement and very satisfied that he made the right decision in NOT operating. He talked seriously to Conor about career choices and recommended something that did not rely heavily on the wrist ... but reiterated that there was pretty well nothing he could not do with the wrist. Again ... I cried. Such incredible relief. Conor really doesn't know what to do when I have these little meltdowns ... but then again who would? I tried to explain that I can only afford to fall apart when the crisis is over. Another piece of armour can be laid to rest.
Tomorrow Conor goes for two days' worth of neuropsychological testing. To say that he is not looking forward to this --- is an understatement. He dreads it and doesn't see the point. I tried to convince him to think of it like a final exam. If he passes ... then the "brain injury" is officially no longer an issue and he can focus solely on this leg. Not sure whether he's buying into it!
In my opinion ... the cognitive impairment ... is a non-issue. As far as I can see ... and what do I know ... I'm just his mum ... he's completely back to normal. He has bought himself a little car (1996 Honda Civic hatchback) and is so enjoying the independence the car gives him. He goes out to visit his friends and is even coaching his old soccer team on Sunday evenings. Now that both boys are driving ... yes, Ciaran has his licence now ... God's highlights (my hairdresser's term for grey hairs) have increased. But -- suck it up mum ... the boys have got to live their lives. Would I prefer to wrap them up in cotton wool and keep them safely tucked away at home? You betcha! But, I'm afraid that would not be fair. They are young and ...they are entitled to make their own mistakes. Sometimes, the hardest part of being a parent ... is allowing them to make those mistakes.
As for me ... I am fine. I seem to be in a constant state of preparedness ... ready at a second's notice to do battle again. I know this is not ideal ... and I would love to be able to retire the "armour" for good ... but realistically, this will not be possible for a while. Day by day, I find it a little easier to relax ... but I am a long way from "laid back". I am reasonably healthy and happy ... and for that I am thankful. The rest will come ... in the fullness of time! A good start will be my little trip through the Rockies at the end of June. No children ... only good friends and good times. Sounds idyllic ... and I am soooo looking forward to it.
I will post again ... but truth be told ... the end of that "road to recovery" is very near at hand. I shall very much miss sitting in front of my computer ... a Starbucks or a Drambuie in hand ... pouring out my soul to all of you. God willing I will post again in early July to update you all on Conor's bolt removal and cartilage repair. Hard to believe how far we've come in the six months this blog has existed. Although my faith was strong ... it was laced with some elements of doubt. That doubt has thankfully been put aside and my faith has been confirmed. Life, my friends, no matter how bleak at times ... is good. Stay well all ... God bless till we speak again
This forum has served many purposes. In the very beginning, it took some of the pressure off Ciaran. Despite his many talents ... press officer was a new one. I think, at times, all the medical terminology overwhelmed him and I think he truly understood only half of what was going on. All he cared about was whether his brother was --- at first ... going to live; and later ... going to be whole. And you know what ... with all the medical techno-jargon that I have picked up over the past 6 and a half months; I think Ciaran had it right. However -- for me --- being able to write it all down, having a record of what was happening hour by hour, day by day --- was a means for me to put order to the chaos that was my mind at the time. I look back at some of the older posts ... the posts that occurred while Conor was still on life support ... and I am able to vividly relive those days ... I am able to feel what I felt at the time with all the intensity. I get goose bumps. I am both amazed and proud of how Ciaran and I were able to survive those early days. The blog is a permanent record of that accomplishment. More than anything though ... the blog was a vehicle for my hope, my fears, my gratitude. It was (and to a certain extent still is) cathartic and therapeutic. I shall miss it when it goes ... not today my friends ... but soon. The road to recovery is almost complete.
An update . . .
On 18 May, Conor had an appointment with his orthopaedic surgeon for his leg. There appears to have been some cartilage damage (go figure) and his ortho has referred him to a sports medicine specialist. For all you aging athletes out there ... you may know of what I speak. Conor's cruciate ligaments (both anterior and posterior) are extremely loose. They are not holding Conor's knee joint together well enough for real strengthening to take place. Hopefully ... on 18 June, we will see what is planned. As for the ortho ... he is scheduling Conor to have the bolts in his knee removed ... six months ahead of schedule. The bolts cause Conor considerable pain whenever he moves as they jut out a few millimeters and rub on the soft tissue surrounding the knee. Again ... this is impeding Conor's progress with physio ... as he has reached a plateau. He really can't go any further until the bolts are removed. So hopefully ... in the next few weeks ... Conor will undergo "Day Surgery" for the removal. The ortho is certain that the recovery will be speedy.
Today, we went again to visit the wrist specialist. We were able to look at Conor's wrist today ...vs... on 18 November ... and well --- I cried. Remember back in the beginning, an ICU nurse told me that the true sign of progress was the removal of all the equipment, and the lack of interested doctors. Well today ... we have one less doctor. The "rice krispies" have bonded together to create a fully functional and strong wrist. He was amazed at Conor's improvement and very satisfied that he made the right decision in NOT operating. He talked seriously to Conor about career choices and recommended something that did not rely heavily on the wrist ... but reiterated that there was pretty well nothing he could not do with the wrist. Again ... I cried. Such incredible relief. Conor really doesn't know what to do when I have these little meltdowns ... but then again who would? I tried to explain that I can only afford to fall apart when the crisis is over. Another piece of armour can be laid to rest.
Tomorrow Conor goes for two days' worth of neuropsychological testing. To say that he is not looking forward to this --- is an understatement. He dreads it and doesn't see the point. I tried to convince him to think of it like a final exam. If he passes ... then the "brain injury" is officially no longer an issue and he can focus solely on this leg. Not sure whether he's buying into it!
In my opinion ... the cognitive impairment ... is a non-issue. As far as I can see ... and what do I know ... I'm just his mum ... he's completely back to normal. He has bought himself a little car (1996 Honda Civic hatchback) and is so enjoying the independence the car gives him. He goes out to visit his friends and is even coaching his old soccer team on Sunday evenings. Now that both boys are driving ... yes, Ciaran has his licence now ... God's highlights (my hairdresser's term for grey hairs) have increased. But -- suck it up mum ... the boys have got to live their lives. Would I prefer to wrap them up in cotton wool and keep them safely tucked away at home? You betcha! But, I'm afraid that would not be fair. They are young and ...they are entitled to make their own mistakes. Sometimes, the hardest part of being a parent ... is allowing them to make those mistakes.
As for me ... I am fine. I seem to be in a constant state of preparedness ... ready at a second's notice to do battle again. I know this is not ideal ... and I would love to be able to retire the "armour" for good ... but realistically, this will not be possible for a while. Day by day, I find it a little easier to relax ... but I am a long way from "laid back". I am reasonably healthy and happy ... and for that I am thankful. The rest will come ... in the fullness of time! A good start will be my little trip through the Rockies at the end of June. No children ... only good friends and good times. Sounds idyllic ... and I am soooo looking forward to it.
I will post again ... but truth be told ... the end of that "road to recovery" is very near at hand. I shall very much miss sitting in front of my computer ... a Starbucks or a Drambuie in hand ... pouring out my soul to all of you. God willing I will post again in early July to update you all on Conor's bolt removal and cartilage repair. Hard to believe how far we've come in the six months this blog has existed. Although my faith was strong ... it was laced with some elements of doubt. That doubt has thankfully been put aside and my faith has been confirmed. Life, my friends, no matter how bleak at times ... is good. Stay well all ... God bless till we speak again
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
There but for the grace of God ...
I received a call last night from friends out in Osgoode. They called to tell me that the son of a friend was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
The mother in question ... is Dot Janz ... of the famous Red Dot restaurant in Osgoode. The son ... 35 year old Neal. He leaves behind his mum, a sister, a father, a grandmother and a girlfriend and ex-wife. A life cut short way too soon.
Needless to say, a myriad of emotions rushed through me. The obvious sadness, horror and empathy were part of the package ... but for me ... an incredible guilt. Guilt that I was spared this experience ...
I will confess my feelings to Dot ... over a glass of wine, perhaps ... at her new restaurant ... the Black Dog in Manotick. She will understand. Dot is a woman of incredible grace and strength. She spoke to me after Mikey passed ...and after Conor's accident ... and was such a serene presence. No drama ... only calm strength. I only hope that I can return her comfort in kind.
To those of you who are aware of Dot ... there is a guest book provided by the Ottawa Citizen. The website is: http://www.legacy.com/can-ottawa/GB/GuestbookEntry.aspx?&PersonID=87906873. To those of you that do not know Dot ... spare a prayer or a good thought for a mother whose heart is torn in two.
Thank you for allowing me to use this forum for a purpose other than "Conor's Journey". I believe you'll understand the connection between this site ... and a mother's loss and tragedy.
The mother in question ... is Dot Janz ... of the famous Red Dot restaurant in Osgoode. The son ... 35 year old Neal. He leaves behind his mum, a sister, a father, a grandmother and a girlfriend and ex-wife. A life cut short way too soon.
Needless to say, a myriad of emotions rushed through me. The obvious sadness, horror and empathy were part of the package ... but for me ... an incredible guilt. Guilt that I was spared this experience ...
I will confess my feelings to Dot ... over a glass of wine, perhaps ... at her new restaurant ... the Black Dog in Manotick. She will understand. Dot is a woman of incredible grace and strength. She spoke to me after Mikey passed ...and after Conor's accident ... and was such a serene presence. No drama ... only calm strength. I only hope that I can return her comfort in kind.
To those of you who are aware of Dot ... there is a guest book provided by the Ottawa Citizen. The website is: http://www.legacy.com/can-ottawa/GB/GuestbookEntry.aspx?&PersonID=87906873. To those of you that do not know Dot ... spare a prayer or a good thought for a mother whose heart is torn in two.
Thank you for allowing me to use this forum for a purpose other than "Conor's Journey". I believe you'll understand the connection between this site ... and a mother's loss and tragedy.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Happy Easter
Thought it best to get this post off before I go galavantin' in Southern Ontario. We leave tomorrow for Easter with the Lacey's, the Lacey in-laws, the ex-Lacey's --- those of you who know the Lacey's --- know what I'm yipping about. Some of these Lacey relatives have had to rely only on phone calls and this blog for updates on Conor's progress ... and in the early days ... I can only imagine how very difficult that had to be. But this distance ... and I appreciate that this applies to many of you out there in cyberland ... did/does not diminish the power of their support and their pure love. I am constantly humbled by the outpouring of raw kindness, unselfish support and the unwavering faith of the subscribers of this blog. The John Lacey's, the Carriere's and the Murray's will reap what they have sown ... the will see a walking, talking, eating, laughing, and very WHOLE Conor Lacey... and Ciaran and I are just a little proud to show him off!
The good news this week ... NO MORE SURGERY! That's right, the wrist specialist was so impressed by Conor's range of motion, flexibility and growing strength .... that the surgery has been cancelled. He is the only doctor in the world that does this surgery (transplanting bone with cartilege into the wrist) and he explained that while Conor would be a perfect candidate for the surgery ... the wrist is so good that he prefers not to take the risk of doing unnecessary harm to it. We go back to see him in early June ... once Conor has worked on strengthening the wrist (this was being delayed until after the surgery) and all things being equal ... that will be that. Arthritis will occur ... but the specialist does not believe this will be noticeable until Conor's in his mid-30's ... and he also confirmed that the surgery can be investigated further at a future date ... if necessary. Needless to say ... Conor could not wipe the grin off his face. My concern, and the specialist allayed my fears, was that we would be delaying the surgery for no good reason. My point was that IF the surgery was necessary ... do it now rather than later. I did not want Conor to be setback in his overall healing/recovery. He took a good deal of time to make sure that I understood that Conor was actually not using the part of the wrist that contained the "ledge" ... he was adapting his wrist to use a part of the joint that was smooth and painless. Conor's wrist is flexible, and quite strong ... ahhhh! ... the glory of youth!
As a result of this news ... I will be going back to work (mornings only) on 19 April. It will have been 5 months since that fateful day in November. The time has flown by ... and I will have butterflies on 19 April ... let me assure you. Conor doesn't seem bothered ... but then he sleeps the mornings away anyway! and won't notice whether I'm here or not. Joey, however, will be quite put out!
So happy to be able to share this awesome news with you all. I don't want to belabour the point ... but ... I owe you all such an incredible debt of gratitude. Your support, your prayers, your love has been instrumental in finding us where we are today. A family ... whole, strong, and surrounded by incredible people who are rooting for us to "pull through". I am sometimes overwhelmed by the enormity of your caring and support. I have tears in my eyes (sometimes I think they're a permanent fixture) ... and again ... thank you from the bottom of my very grateful heart.
The good news this week ... NO MORE SURGERY! That's right, the wrist specialist was so impressed by Conor's range of motion, flexibility and growing strength .... that the surgery has been cancelled. He is the only doctor in the world that does this surgery (transplanting bone with cartilege into the wrist) and he explained that while Conor would be a perfect candidate for the surgery ... the wrist is so good that he prefers not to take the risk of doing unnecessary harm to it. We go back to see him in early June ... once Conor has worked on strengthening the wrist (this was being delayed until after the surgery) and all things being equal ... that will be that. Arthritis will occur ... but the specialist does not believe this will be noticeable until Conor's in his mid-30's ... and he also confirmed that the surgery can be investigated further at a future date ... if necessary. Needless to say ... Conor could not wipe the grin off his face. My concern, and the specialist allayed my fears, was that we would be delaying the surgery for no good reason. My point was that IF the surgery was necessary ... do it now rather than later. I did not want Conor to be setback in his overall healing/recovery. He took a good deal of time to make sure that I understood that Conor was actually not using the part of the wrist that contained the "ledge" ... he was adapting his wrist to use a part of the joint that was smooth and painless. Conor's wrist is flexible, and quite strong ... ahhhh! ... the glory of youth!
As a result of this news ... I will be going back to work (mornings only) on 19 April. It will have been 5 months since that fateful day in November. The time has flown by ... and I will have butterflies on 19 April ... let me assure you. Conor doesn't seem bothered ... but then he sleeps the mornings away anyway! and won't notice whether I'm here or not. Joey, however, will be quite put out!
So happy to be able to share this awesome news with you all. I don't want to belabour the point ... but ... I owe you all such an incredible debt of gratitude. Your support, your prayers, your love has been instrumental in finding us where we are today. A family ... whole, strong, and surrounded by incredible people who are rooting for us to "pull through". I am sometimes overwhelmed by the enormity of your caring and support. I have tears in my eyes (sometimes I think they're a permanent fixture) ... and again ... thank you from the bottom of my very grateful heart.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Overdue Update
It's been so long since I've posted, I suspect that no one is out there anymore. But the old adage ... no news is good news ... really does apply.
Conor is doing consistently well. He has had no setbacks and is really getting stronger every day. He does his physio three times a week and is getting pretty good on all the machines they have him using. He took out the garbage for me last week (Ciaran is thrilled) and is asking about golfing. He is still skinny as a rail ... I don't know what he weighed before his accident ... but at 6 foot 2+ ... he now weighs in at a whopping 145 lbs! Believe it or not ... he has filled out some ... you can no longer see his spine through his stomach ... but man he's got a long way to go!
Last week was reasonably eventful. Conor had an appointment with a physiatrist. A physiatrist is a specialist trained in physical medicine, rehabilitation, and pain medicine. He works out of the General and is sort of responsible for the "whole package". He is aware of the reputations of Conor's therapists and was pleased with the team that Allstate had put together. The physiatrist gave Conor some cognitive tests (which I am happy to report he aced -- except for a math question he wouldn't have got before the accident) and was dumbfounded with Conor's progress. At one point he looked Conor in the eye and asked if Conor knew how fortunate he was. Conor was very quick to respond in the positive. We asked about drinking, driving and other things that Conor wants to do (sounds like any 20 year old .. right). Conor was incredibly honest and said that on St Patty's day he had had two beers over the course of four hours. He said that he felt fine. The doctor pointed out ... as I had after researching on the internet ... that he will feel the effects of alcohol more .. and more quickly. He did not preach ... but advised against overdoing it. There is always the possibility that too much alcohol could bring on another seizure (remember back to the seizures Conor had on Day 2 of his recovery). I reinforced the doctor's advice by painting a vivid picture of the seizure I witnessed. I think Conor "gets it" and is just thrilled that he can order a beer when out with his friends ...
Last week (my turn for confession) I also let Conor drive home from his physio. (An aside ... Conor's license was NOT suspended) When I asked Conor if he would like to drive ... he just beamed. And amazingly ... there was actually no fear. I have let him drive a couple of times since -- and in my humble opinion -- there has been no diminishing of his skill/ability. We are setting up a formal driving assessment through our family doctor (there are agencies out there that do this routinely for aged drivers) and once he "passes" that ... I will have to take the huge step of letting him drive alone. Oh boy!
Last week also, Conor went to the movies. He went to see "300" --- which in Conor's opinion is awesome --- and he was absolutely fine. A couple of months ago he couldn't have handled the visual stimuli (too much going on) ... but he claims that it was fine.
On Friday, Conor and I attended the funeral of the father of a friend --- Chuck Nadeau's dad passed. Conor was worried about people seeing him limp (!) .. and I was so proud to have him by my side. The priest who conducted the service was the same priest who celebrated Mike's funeral mass ... Father Soucy. After the service, we were blessed to have a few words with Fr Soucy. He was genuinely chuffed to see us again and was aghast when we told him about Conor's accident. He looked at me and shook his head, then gave Conor a hug and said that he would pray for his leg. He made a few comments about strength and faith ... and I pointed out our belief that Mikey had intervened ... and he replied -- undoubtedly. It was truly a gift to be able to speak with this lovely, lovely man.
Conor admitted to me when I took him home after the service, that he had a "moment" during the service (I had several!) where he realized that it could have been him. This was pretty enlightening for Conor. He has known since he regained consciousness ... how very serious his accident was ... Chuck's dad's service ... was very graphic evidence of the possible alternative outcome. I was heading back for the graveside service ... and asked if Conor was okay. He simply said ... obviously.
Well, guys (if there is anyone reading this) ... this is certainly longer than I originally planned ... but you're up to date. We have an appointment with the wrist specialist on 3 April and will find out the date for Conor's surgery. We are all headed down to Burlington to visit the Lacey's at Easter (and I am so looking forward to it). My plan to travel to BC in June/July looks like it might actually happen ... Conor's already planning to have his buds up to the cottage that weekend ... so I am breathing a little easier and probably didn't need that cancellation insurance.
Please spare a prayer/thought for Chuck and his family ... and till we meet here again ... I remain ... a very grateful mother.
Conor is doing consistently well. He has had no setbacks and is really getting stronger every day. He does his physio three times a week and is getting pretty good on all the machines they have him using. He took out the garbage for me last week (Ciaran is thrilled) and is asking about golfing. He is still skinny as a rail ... I don't know what he weighed before his accident ... but at 6 foot 2+ ... he now weighs in at a whopping 145 lbs! Believe it or not ... he has filled out some ... you can no longer see his spine through his stomach ... but man he's got a long way to go!
Last week was reasonably eventful. Conor had an appointment with a physiatrist. A physiatrist is a specialist trained in physical medicine, rehabilitation, and pain medicine. He works out of the General and is sort of responsible for the "whole package". He is aware of the reputations of Conor's therapists and was pleased with the team that Allstate had put together. The physiatrist gave Conor some cognitive tests (which I am happy to report he aced -- except for a math question he wouldn't have got before the accident) and was dumbfounded with Conor's progress. At one point he looked Conor in the eye and asked if Conor knew how fortunate he was. Conor was very quick to respond in the positive. We asked about drinking, driving and other things that Conor wants to do (sounds like any 20 year old .. right). Conor was incredibly honest and said that on St Patty's day he had had two beers over the course of four hours. He said that he felt fine. The doctor pointed out ... as I had after researching on the internet ... that he will feel the effects of alcohol more .. and more quickly. He did not preach ... but advised against overdoing it. There is always the possibility that too much alcohol could bring on another seizure (remember back to the seizures Conor had on Day 2 of his recovery). I reinforced the doctor's advice by painting a vivid picture of the seizure I witnessed. I think Conor "gets it" and is just thrilled that he can order a beer when out with his friends ...
Last week (my turn for confession) I also let Conor drive home from his physio. (An aside ... Conor's license was NOT suspended) When I asked Conor if he would like to drive ... he just beamed. And amazingly ... there was actually no fear. I have let him drive a couple of times since -- and in my humble opinion -- there has been no diminishing of his skill/ability. We are setting up a formal driving assessment through our family doctor (there are agencies out there that do this routinely for aged drivers) and once he "passes" that ... I will have to take the huge step of letting him drive alone. Oh boy!
Last week also, Conor went to the movies. He went to see "300" --- which in Conor's opinion is awesome --- and he was absolutely fine. A couple of months ago he couldn't have handled the visual stimuli (too much going on) ... but he claims that it was fine.
On Friday, Conor and I attended the funeral of the father of a friend --- Chuck Nadeau's dad passed. Conor was worried about people seeing him limp (!) .. and I was so proud to have him by my side. The priest who conducted the service was the same priest who celebrated Mike's funeral mass ... Father Soucy. After the service, we were blessed to have a few words with Fr Soucy. He was genuinely chuffed to see us again and was aghast when we told him about Conor's accident. He looked at me and shook his head, then gave Conor a hug and said that he would pray for his leg. He made a few comments about strength and faith ... and I pointed out our belief that Mikey had intervened ... and he replied -- undoubtedly. It was truly a gift to be able to speak with this lovely, lovely man.
Conor admitted to me when I took him home after the service, that he had a "moment" during the service (I had several!) where he realized that it could have been him. This was pretty enlightening for Conor. He has known since he regained consciousness ... how very serious his accident was ... Chuck's dad's service ... was very graphic evidence of the possible alternative outcome. I was heading back for the graveside service ... and asked if Conor was okay. He simply said ... obviously.
Well, guys (if there is anyone reading this) ... this is certainly longer than I originally planned ... but you're up to date. We have an appointment with the wrist specialist on 3 April and will find out the date for Conor's surgery. We are all headed down to Burlington to visit the Lacey's at Easter (and I am so looking forward to it). My plan to travel to BC in June/July looks like it might actually happen ... Conor's already planning to have his buds up to the cottage that weekend ... so I am breathing a little easier and probably didn't need that cancellation insurance.
Please spare a prayer/thought for Chuck and his family ... and till we meet here again ... I remain ... a very grateful mother.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Nearing the "Other Side"
I'm sitting here at my computer ... it's almost midnight ... sipping the last of a Drambuie before I go to bed. Joey is down the hall somewhere ... probably chewing one of Ciaran's socks ... and both my boys are "out". Conor has gone over to Matt's house to play video games ... and Ciaran is out cruising with a couple of his buds. Three months since the accident ---- and we have reverted to a "normal" life. Remarkable!
I am so incredibly at peace. All is right with the world (not really -- but it's right within my world!) and I feel as though we're approaching the end of that dark tunnel that seemed so very vast just 3 months ago.
I was watching an Oprah show today .. it was about the "laws of the universe" ... it hit home. Those of you that know me well, know that I am a no-nonsense, no-excuse person. Those of you that have been introduced to me through this blog ... have probably seen glimpses of that. The gist of the show was that what you put out ... is what you get back. Karma ... kismet ... reap what you sow ... it has many names. But basically .... you are responsible for your own life. You own it ... you're responsible for its direction. If you are a victim ... it is because you see yourself as a victim ... so people treat you as a victim. That is your choice ... you choose to be a victim. Bad things happen to good people. Regardless of what is going on in your life ... there is always something to be grateful for. Focus on the gratitude ... don't focus on the victimization. There are people who choose to have drama in their lives ... who seem unable to "survive" without it. Again ... a choice. I know this seems harsh ... but over the past 14 months ... I feel I have "walked the walk", so I am entitled to "talk the talk". I have not allowed myself to be a "victim" ... and as a result ... well, you've all read this blog. Not only have I (we) survived ... but I (we) am stronger because of it and blessed with an abundance of friends and a wealth of experience just waiting to be passed on. I am so incredibly grateful ...
Conor is attending physio three times a week and has begun an exercise program. They are working on the leg ... and trying to get the wrist as supple as possible prior to the surgery. Today, Conor visited his orthopaedic surgeon. He walked into the clinic ... no crutch .. no cane. Dr O'Neill ... just smiled and shook his head. Conor went for his x-ray (I think this is his fiftieth ... they better have been using the lead shield 'cause I want grandchildren!) and the break above his knee has completely healed. The ortho had to strain to see it in the films. The bone around the rod is almost complete .. and the ortho doesn't want to see him for three months! I burst into tears! Three months! Conor, bless him, looked at me confused as to my tears. It seems it's time for me to take off the warrior garb ... not currently required. I think that warrants a few tears of relief!
So ... that is where we stand, my dear friends. I am still off work until the end of March ... and plan to go back half-time to begin with. As you can imagine, my priorities have changed considerably over the past year ... and Conor still needs me (and I need him to need me). Conor's occupational therapist has scheduled an appointment to visit the LCBO to see exactly what is required in Conor's day-to-day work life (months ahead of schedule I might add!). Ciaran is well .. and normal .. and doing all the stupid things that sixteen year old boys do (and that he has every right to do!) We are almost at the "other side" of this .. and again ... thank you. Each step of this road was made possible by your strength ... your perseverance ... your belief that we could do this. We would not be where we are today without your love and support. And I thank you ... from the bottom of my heart!
I am so incredibly at peace. All is right with the world (not really -- but it's right within my world!) and I feel as though we're approaching the end of that dark tunnel that seemed so very vast just 3 months ago.
I was watching an Oprah show today .. it was about the "laws of the universe" ... it hit home. Those of you that know me well, know that I am a no-nonsense, no-excuse person. Those of you that have been introduced to me through this blog ... have probably seen glimpses of that. The gist of the show was that what you put out ... is what you get back. Karma ... kismet ... reap what you sow ... it has many names. But basically .... you are responsible for your own life. You own it ... you're responsible for its direction. If you are a victim ... it is because you see yourself as a victim ... so people treat you as a victim. That is your choice ... you choose to be a victim. Bad things happen to good people. Regardless of what is going on in your life ... there is always something to be grateful for. Focus on the gratitude ... don't focus on the victimization. There are people who choose to have drama in their lives ... who seem unable to "survive" without it. Again ... a choice. I know this seems harsh ... but over the past 14 months ... I feel I have "walked the walk", so I am entitled to "talk the talk". I have not allowed myself to be a "victim" ... and as a result ... well, you've all read this blog. Not only have I (we) survived ... but I (we) am stronger because of it and blessed with an abundance of friends and a wealth of experience just waiting to be passed on. I am so incredibly grateful ...
Conor is attending physio three times a week and has begun an exercise program. They are working on the leg ... and trying to get the wrist as supple as possible prior to the surgery. Today, Conor visited his orthopaedic surgeon. He walked into the clinic ... no crutch .. no cane. Dr O'Neill ... just smiled and shook his head. Conor went for his x-ray (I think this is his fiftieth ... they better have been using the lead shield 'cause I want grandchildren!) and the break above his knee has completely healed. The ortho had to strain to see it in the films. The bone around the rod is almost complete .. and the ortho doesn't want to see him for three months! I burst into tears! Three months! Conor, bless him, looked at me confused as to my tears. It seems it's time for me to take off the warrior garb ... not currently required. I think that warrants a few tears of relief!
So ... that is where we stand, my dear friends. I am still off work until the end of March ... and plan to go back half-time to begin with. As you can imagine, my priorities have changed considerably over the past year ... and Conor still needs me (and I need him to need me). Conor's occupational therapist has scheduled an appointment to visit the LCBO to see exactly what is required in Conor's day-to-day work life (months ahead of schedule I might add!). Ciaran is well .. and normal .. and doing all the stupid things that sixteen year old boys do (and that he has every right to do!) We are almost at the "other side" of this .. and again ... thank you. Each step of this road was made possible by your strength ... your perseverance ... your belief that we could do this. We would not be where we are today without your love and support. And I thank you ... from the bottom of my heart!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Wrist Update
It's been over a week since I posted ... sorry to all you guys who check this site everyday.
A little news to impart ....
Last week saw the last visit to the house for Conor's physiotherapist, Julie. On her last day, she had Conor play guitar for her. He played a couple of songs, and though he struggled with some picking, he was able to play remarkably well. For all you fellow weepers out there ... he played Tears in Heaven by Clapton ... and there was not a dry eye in the room! Julie looked at me and smiled and said that this is what makes her job worthwhile. A motivated 20 year old ... with nothing on their mind but healing. She gave Conor a hug and asked if it would be okay if she followed up with him from time to time. She has now passed him off to the Canadian Back Institute on Greenbank Road for further treatment. He has his initial assessment on Friday ...
As you know ... the Superbowl was played this weekend. Conor's team ... the Colts ... were victorious. Although I was secretly cheering for Chicago (and Ciaran not so secretly) ... I knew that Indianapolis would win. It was pre-ordained. Conor was ecstatic. You may recall in a previous post ... that the PR people for the team sent Conor some "stuff" and a lovely personalized letter wishing him well in his rehab. After the victory ... Ciaran wondered out loud whether the Colts would point out that they had dedicated their win to that kid in Ottawa, Canada who had hit a bus. Needless to the say ... the room exploded. I don't know how that kid's mind works ...
Today, we went to the big wrist specialist. He was very nice and was thrilled that we were so aware of the problem with Conor's wrist and were willing to be aggressive with treatment. He concurred with the other specialist, and Conor's surgeon, that surgery would probably be the best option, given his youth. He advised that if he was over 50, there would be no need for the surgery --- that Conor's current range of motion is more than a lot of older people have.
They will make an incision behind Conor's knee and remove a pancake-shaped piece of bone (with cartilage attached) that they will transplant into the wrist. This will give a nice smooth surface within the joint ... and provide some much needed cartilage. I asked how long he would be off his leg ... and the doctor claimed not even a day. He is scheduling the surgery for 8-10 weeks ... and we are scheduled to see him again on 3 April. Conor will be in a cast after the surgery for about 6 weeks ...(no pins) ... then the real rehab (strengthening and mobility) can begin in earnest. Till then ... it's strengthen the leg and the rest of that skinny wee body ... and get as supple a wrist as possible.
Conor is truly doing well ... sometimes too well. This weekend we had to hold back on the walking a bit as he was irritating the tissue covering the screws. However, by holding back ... the knee stiffened. So we are currently trying to find the right balance between too much and not enough exercise. The sooner the screws can come out ... the less this will be an issue.
Well, my friends, that is about all I have in the way of updates. Ciaran and I are still doing well ... and are less at Conor's beck and call. I can leave him alone for longer periods (I still call to check up ... I know, I know) and I think we've seen the last of the panic attacks. I can't wait for the weather to cooperate a little bit so Conor can get outside to do a few laps around the block ... but -30 is just not conducive to that kind of exercise. Soon ... very soon! Have a great week everyone . . .
A little news to impart ....
Last week saw the last visit to the house for Conor's physiotherapist, Julie. On her last day, she had Conor play guitar for her. He played a couple of songs, and though he struggled with some picking, he was able to play remarkably well. For all you fellow weepers out there ... he played Tears in Heaven by Clapton ... and there was not a dry eye in the room! Julie looked at me and smiled and said that this is what makes her job worthwhile. A motivated 20 year old ... with nothing on their mind but healing. She gave Conor a hug and asked if it would be okay if she followed up with him from time to time. She has now passed him off to the Canadian Back Institute on Greenbank Road for further treatment. He has his initial assessment on Friday ...
As you know ... the Superbowl was played this weekend. Conor's team ... the Colts ... were victorious. Although I was secretly cheering for Chicago (and Ciaran not so secretly) ... I knew that Indianapolis would win. It was pre-ordained. Conor was ecstatic. You may recall in a previous post ... that the PR people for the team sent Conor some "stuff" and a lovely personalized letter wishing him well in his rehab. After the victory ... Ciaran wondered out loud whether the Colts would point out that they had dedicated their win to that kid in Ottawa, Canada who had hit a bus. Needless to the say ... the room exploded. I don't know how that kid's mind works ...
Today, we went to the big wrist specialist. He was very nice and was thrilled that we were so aware of the problem with Conor's wrist and were willing to be aggressive with treatment. He concurred with the other specialist, and Conor's surgeon, that surgery would probably be the best option, given his youth. He advised that if he was over 50, there would be no need for the surgery --- that Conor's current range of motion is more than a lot of older people have.
They will make an incision behind Conor's knee and remove a pancake-shaped piece of bone (with cartilage attached) that they will transplant into the wrist. This will give a nice smooth surface within the joint ... and provide some much needed cartilage. I asked how long he would be off his leg ... and the doctor claimed not even a day. He is scheduling the surgery for 8-10 weeks ... and we are scheduled to see him again on 3 April. Conor will be in a cast after the surgery for about 6 weeks ...(no pins) ... then the real rehab (strengthening and mobility) can begin in earnest. Till then ... it's strengthen the leg and the rest of that skinny wee body ... and get as supple a wrist as possible.
Conor is truly doing well ... sometimes too well. This weekend we had to hold back on the walking a bit as he was irritating the tissue covering the screws. However, by holding back ... the knee stiffened. So we are currently trying to find the right balance between too much and not enough exercise. The sooner the screws can come out ... the less this will be an issue.
Well, my friends, that is about all I have in the way of updates. Ciaran and I are still doing well ... and are less at Conor's beck and call. I can leave him alone for longer periods (I still call to check up ... I know, I know) and I think we've seen the last of the panic attacks. I can't wait for the weather to cooperate a little bit so Conor can get outside to do a few laps around the block ... but -30 is just not conducive to that kind of exercise. Soon ... very soon! Have a great week everyone . . .
Monday, January 29, 2007
What a Weekend!
We started off Friday by taking Conor to see the lads at the LCBO. They were thrilled to see him doing so well. Conor couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He used only one crutch and was able to climb up and down a couple flights of stairs. We spent about an hour and a half there. It was great for the guys that couldn't get into the hospital to have the opportunity to see Conor in the flesh. They have all been so thoughtful and supportive to all of us over the past year. When we got home, Conor was surprised at just how tired he was. I tried to explain that for the time he was there ... he was ON. It was physical, cognitive and even emotional to a certain degree. He napped for a good while in the afternoon. Then it was off to Matt's for a quiet night of TV and video games.
Saturday, we went to Best Buy to look at TVs. We ended up with a portable phone ... the kids have been bugging me for a while to get an answering machine from this century (I think they were tired of running for the phone after just two rings) and the phone set has a digital answering machine ... so we're all set for the next score of years! Saturday evening, Conor had a couple of friends over, and they ended up heading to the Superstore in Kanata to purchase a TV (the one we had in the basement was about 20 years old) and a surround sound system. The TV is mine ... but the sound system is all Conor's. Took them about 2 hours to set everything up ... and I must say they did a really good job. Anyone out there want a used, 20 year old TV?
Today Conor had his Occupational Therapist and his Physiotherapist. He blew them both away ... because ... the big news of the weekend is Conor is walking without the aid of anything! He can do stairs unaided, walks to the loo unaided, he's even now having a shower without the aid of anything .... he's been practicing walking without a limp (if you can believe it!) The OT looked like she had tears in her eyes ... the physio booked him into the physio clinic and said "He doesn't need me anymore!"
Those of you who know me, and/or have been following the blog, know that I have been positive, but realistic. Back in November, I took each hour as it came. I was so grateful that Conor had survived the accident ... I was cautiously hopeful but I was girding my loins for the disappointments and setbacks that were sure to present themselves. Please God let me not be jinxing myself ... but Conor's recovery has been headed in one direction only. A mere 70 days after this horrendous accident ... Conor is walking, talking, laughing ... and oh so whole. His father, I am sure, played no small part in all of this. Nonetheless, Conor has shown such astounding strength within himself. Strength, I admit, I did not know he was capable of. I am amazed and humbled at the power of prayer and positive thought. I am so incredibly grateful .... thank you seems so inadequate.
So join with the Lacey's tonight ... in a prayer/word of thanks. When I named this blog ... "Conor's Journey --- A Record of Conor's Recovery" ... it was bravado, I must admit. I am just so thankful that the Big Fella upstairs bought in and made it a reality!
Saturday, we went to Best Buy to look at TVs. We ended up with a portable phone ... the kids have been bugging me for a while to get an answering machine from this century (I think they were tired of running for the phone after just two rings) and the phone set has a digital answering machine ... so we're all set for the next score of years! Saturday evening, Conor had a couple of friends over, and they ended up heading to the Superstore in Kanata to purchase a TV (the one we had in the basement was about 20 years old) and a surround sound system. The TV is mine ... but the sound system is all Conor's. Took them about 2 hours to set everything up ... and I must say they did a really good job. Anyone out there want a used, 20 year old TV?
Today Conor had his Occupational Therapist and his Physiotherapist. He blew them both away ... because ... the big news of the weekend is Conor is walking without the aid of anything! He can do stairs unaided, walks to the loo unaided, he's even now having a shower without the aid of anything .... he's been practicing walking without a limp (if you can believe it!) The OT looked like she had tears in her eyes ... the physio booked him into the physio clinic and said "He doesn't need me anymore!"
Those of you who know me, and/or have been following the blog, know that I have been positive, but realistic. Back in November, I took each hour as it came. I was so grateful that Conor had survived the accident ... I was cautiously hopeful but I was girding my loins for the disappointments and setbacks that were sure to present themselves. Please God let me not be jinxing myself ... but Conor's recovery has been headed in one direction only. A mere 70 days after this horrendous accident ... Conor is walking, talking, laughing ... and oh so whole. His father, I am sure, played no small part in all of this. Nonetheless, Conor has shown such astounding strength within himself. Strength, I admit, I did not know he was capable of. I am amazed and humbled at the power of prayer and positive thought. I am so incredibly grateful .... thank you seems so inadequate.
So join with the Lacey's tonight ... in a prayer/word of thanks. When I named this blog ... "Conor's Journey --- A Record of Conor's Recovery" ... it was bravado, I must admit. I am just so thankful that the Big Fella upstairs bought in and made it a reality!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Social Butterfly
Well, the past week has been filled with many firsts ...
We spent a lovely evening over at the Bolger's on Saturday evening. Conor survived his first social engagement (even with a tummy ache) and the Bolgers, the Van Humbecks and I were able to sketch out some plans for a summer trip to Victoria. That I can even contemplate such a venture ... 9 weeks after the accident ... is extraordinary. And truth be told ... I'm a little excited!
Sunday evening, Conor was whisked away to his buddy Randy's house to watch the Colts defeat their nemesis, and finally make it to the Superbowl. It was touch and go for a while ... but they made it! Sorry Pat! Conor was out till well after midnight ... and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Tuesday, I took Conor to Bayshore (local shopping mall) for a haircut. Shortly after he was discharged from the hospital ... I made a sad attempt at cutting his hair. In Ciaran's words ... it was a "monk" cut. I never professed to have any skills in that department ... for good reason. So Conor looks normal again ...
Wednesday night, the Bolger girls came over for pizza. Kathy is in Mexico for a well deserved holiday with girlfriends, so I took the opportunity to introduce Steve to Thai food. Lovely little restaurant on Richmond Road (highly recommended -- Nokham Thai - thanks Jill) and Steve was duly impressed.
Tonight, Conor is heading over to Matt's house for the first time. Matt's house was where Conor spent the majority of his evenings prior to the accident ... I think he's a little excited! I am taking cousin Jimmy out for his birthday ... to some little Bistro on Holland (will provide my critique later!)! Ciaran will have to make do with leftovers as he watches Joey and studies for exams. Don't fret too much about Ciaran ... he's got plans for the weekend.
We got a call this week from the wrist specialist over at the General Hospital. Conor has an appointment to see him for 6 Feb .... hopefully they'll be able to schedule surgery soon. The physio will be seeing Conor three times next week and then she's kicking him out ... he'll be going to a physiotherapy center. For all of you that suspect I am not looking after myself .... arrangements are being made for me to attend the same clinic for therapy on my neck/back (I guess that's where I store my stress) and massage. I'm looking forward to it!
This week Conor walked with only one crutch ... and yesterday he took his first unassisted steps. And yes ... I cried! The physio was blown away! There'll be no stopping him now ...
There ... thought I'd get this update in. With our ever burgeoning social schedule ... it was an effort! Seriously, it is a joy for me to report Conor's return to a reasonably "normal" social life. His friends have been awesome about coming here for the past couple of months ... but it is therapy in its own way for Conor to be able to visit his friends. Having him out of my sight is agony ... but not having him go out is worse torture (and unfair to him). To paraphrase Ciaran: Suck it up, Mum ... these are all steps in the right direction.
We spent a lovely evening over at the Bolger's on Saturday evening. Conor survived his first social engagement (even with a tummy ache) and the Bolgers, the Van Humbecks and I were able to sketch out some plans for a summer trip to Victoria. That I can even contemplate such a venture ... 9 weeks after the accident ... is extraordinary. And truth be told ... I'm a little excited!
Sunday evening, Conor was whisked away to his buddy Randy's house to watch the Colts defeat their nemesis, and finally make it to the Superbowl. It was touch and go for a while ... but they made it! Sorry Pat! Conor was out till well after midnight ... and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Tuesday, I took Conor to Bayshore (local shopping mall) for a haircut. Shortly after he was discharged from the hospital ... I made a sad attempt at cutting his hair. In Ciaran's words ... it was a "monk" cut. I never professed to have any skills in that department ... for good reason. So Conor looks normal again ...
Wednesday night, the Bolger girls came over for pizza. Kathy is in Mexico for a well deserved holiday with girlfriends, so I took the opportunity to introduce Steve to Thai food. Lovely little restaurant on Richmond Road (highly recommended -- Nokham Thai - thanks Jill) and Steve was duly impressed.
Tonight, Conor is heading over to Matt's house for the first time. Matt's house was where Conor spent the majority of his evenings prior to the accident ... I think he's a little excited! I am taking cousin Jimmy out for his birthday ... to some little Bistro on Holland (will provide my critique later!)! Ciaran will have to make do with leftovers as he watches Joey and studies for exams. Don't fret too much about Ciaran ... he's got plans for the weekend.
We got a call this week from the wrist specialist over at the General Hospital. Conor has an appointment to see him for 6 Feb .... hopefully they'll be able to schedule surgery soon. The physio will be seeing Conor three times next week and then she's kicking him out ... he'll be going to a physiotherapy center. For all of you that suspect I am not looking after myself .... arrangements are being made for me to attend the same clinic for therapy on my neck/back (I guess that's where I store my stress) and massage. I'm looking forward to it!
This week Conor walked with only one crutch ... and yesterday he took his first unassisted steps. And yes ... I cried! The physio was blown away! There'll be no stopping him now ...
There ... thought I'd get this update in. With our ever burgeoning social schedule ... it was an effort! Seriously, it is a joy for me to report Conor's return to a reasonably "normal" social life. His friends have been awesome about coming here for the past couple of months ... but it is therapy in its own way for Conor to be able to visit his friends. Having him out of my sight is agony ... but not having him go out is worse torture (and unfair to him). To paraphrase Ciaran: Suck it up, Mum ... these are all steps in the right direction.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
An Overdue Update
It's been over a week since I've posted. To all you "loyal" readers ... my apologies. I find it difficult to post when there's nothing "new" to report. I could tell you about what he had to eat, and how he much he enjoys trying to teach Joey to roll-over, and how grumpy he gets when his orange juice is poured into an improper glass ... you know ... the everyday minutiae of living with an anal-retentive 20 year-old .... but I find that a little arrogant. I like to give you informative "stuff" that has consequence and meaning in Conor's recovery. Despite my previous reports about his bowel movements ... you don't need to know that stuff any more.
This week was full of the usual therapies. The physio missed out on Thursday because of two sick kiddies. I joked with her that it doesn't matter whether their 3 years old or 20 ... you want to be there to nurture them through it.
The speech pathologist and the occupational therapist are astounded at Conor's cognitive recovery. It's all come back. The two areas that he had some noticeable difficulties were vision and, believe it or not, rhythm. These are apparently quite common in right brain injuries. The rhythm was news to me, and Conor relayed that when he played guitar (which he now does quite regularly), his timing was all off. When he's watching MTV ... he tries to "keep beat" with his hand. This obviously was not coming as second nature, and he has had to focus and concentrate on this aspect of playing guitar. The therapists were thrilled at his own insight into his shortcomings, and his ability to problem solve and find his own exercises to strengthen this inadequacy ... one of them commented that he obviously didn't need her. Over the past little while, Conor claims that he really doesn't have problems with his vision ... unless he's really tired. If I had to put my finger on a residual problem ... I would have to say that he tires much easier than before the accident. His attention drifts marginally quicker than before ... keep in mind he's male so it was never great to begin with ... and he tires much more easily. He is masking it well ... but it's hard to hide things from Mum! But that's pretty well it ... his speech is back to normal (not so precise), his ability to be distracted while trying to focus on something else is back to normal, and he's able to see. The key to everything, I guess is the old adage ... "use it -- or lose it". He's got to exercise those parts of the brain and the therapist has given him crossword puzzles, word puzzles, problems, etc.
Now, orthopaedically. The new bone growth in the leg is coming along very well. The surgeon is thrilled with how his leg is healing ... well ahead of schedule (of course). The screws that hold the rod in place at the knee, however, are rubbing on the various tissue on the outside of the knee. The bolt heads are on the inside of the knee, and the ends are on the outside of the knee. The surgeon indicated that he had to use longer than normal screws because of the break just above the knee. He has acknowledged that the screws will have to come out early ... but he has to wait until the knee break heals a bit more. If the screws come out early, the rod can twist and turn inside the bone ... and perhaps break through the entire knee. Not a good thing. So ... Conor has to strengthen his quad (which is difficult on two fronts --- the pain from the screws and the nerve damage) in order for all of this to come together and the rod to heal well inside the femur. The x-rays are sooo cool. I wish I could get a copy to post them for you to see. Anyways ... this ortho doesn't need to see us till mid-February when hopefully the knee break will have healed sufficiently. In addition ... Conor can now fully weight bear on his leg! Unbelievable... nine weeks ago today ... Conor nearly lost that leg (nearly lost his life) and now there is every indication that full strength should return. No more wheelchair (that's been relegated to the spare room), soon no more crutches, graduation to a cane ... and then ...
Now the wrist is a bit of a different story. We are waiting for a call from the wrist specialist we saw a few weeks ago. He wants to consult with the wrist specialist at the General before formulating a plan of action. The wrist is misaligned ... out by about 2 mm. This cannot be left as is because it will slowly but surely wear away the joint. As I've said before, Conor no longer has any cartilage in his wrist joint. He will have arthritis.... but as the ortho says ... he's only 20 ... let's give him as long as possible before arthritis sets in. There is a surgery where they take a piece of bone from around your knee and transplant it into your wrist. The transplanted bone has cartilage attached and it will give Conor some additional years before the arthritis sets in. Conor didn't seem too put out by the thought of an additional surgery and realizes that NOW is the best time for it to occur. I suspect he's also figured out that he's a good healer (there's an understatement) and may as well have everything done now. The real down side of this, at the moment, is that they don't want him to weight bear on the wrist (so no regular crutch) because while they can repair the arm bone part of the wrist ... they cannot really do anything to the hand bone side if damage was to occur. Better safe than sorry. So ... we're just waiting for the wrist specialist to call us for the consultation ... I'll keep you posted on all developments.
Tonight, Conor and I will head over to the Bolgers for supper. Haven't been there for a while ... and frankly ... I've been suffering withdrawal! This will be Conor's first major outing ... and I am looking forward to it. Tomorrow, his beloved Colts are playing the despised Patriots (Conor's words here) and he is going over to his buddy Randy's house to watch the game! Two outings in one weekend ... such a gadabout! Needless to say (and all you mothers of teenagers/young adults can appreciate), the planning for the outing tomorrow is a little lacking ... but magically ... it will surely all come together at the last minute. I don't know how they does it ... but they does it!
Well .. there's my update. Still no major setbacks to report ... and that makes me feel so good. Everything is still on the right track and headed in the right direction. Luck (and divine intervention) is still on our side. Till the next time ... I remain ... very grateful, very hopeful and marginally less tired!
This week was full of the usual therapies. The physio missed out on Thursday because of two sick kiddies. I joked with her that it doesn't matter whether their 3 years old or 20 ... you want to be there to nurture them through it.
The speech pathologist and the occupational therapist are astounded at Conor's cognitive recovery. It's all come back. The two areas that he had some noticeable difficulties were vision and, believe it or not, rhythm. These are apparently quite common in right brain injuries. The rhythm was news to me, and Conor relayed that when he played guitar (which he now does quite regularly), his timing was all off. When he's watching MTV ... he tries to "keep beat" with his hand. This obviously was not coming as second nature, and he has had to focus and concentrate on this aspect of playing guitar. The therapists were thrilled at his own insight into his shortcomings, and his ability to problem solve and find his own exercises to strengthen this inadequacy ... one of them commented that he obviously didn't need her. Over the past little while, Conor claims that he really doesn't have problems with his vision ... unless he's really tired. If I had to put my finger on a residual problem ... I would have to say that he tires much easier than before the accident. His attention drifts marginally quicker than before ... keep in mind he's male so it was never great to begin with ... and he tires much more easily. He is masking it well ... but it's hard to hide things from Mum! But that's pretty well it ... his speech is back to normal (not so precise), his ability to be distracted while trying to focus on something else is back to normal, and he's able to see. The key to everything, I guess is the old adage ... "use it -- or lose it". He's got to exercise those parts of the brain and the therapist has given him crossword puzzles, word puzzles, problems, etc.
Now, orthopaedically. The new bone growth in the leg is coming along very well. The surgeon is thrilled with how his leg is healing ... well ahead of schedule (of course). The screws that hold the rod in place at the knee, however, are rubbing on the various tissue on the outside of the knee. The bolt heads are on the inside of the knee, and the ends are on the outside of the knee. The surgeon indicated that he had to use longer than normal screws because of the break just above the knee. He has acknowledged that the screws will have to come out early ... but he has to wait until the knee break heals a bit more. If the screws come out early, the rod can twist and turn inside the bone ... and perhaps break through the entire knee. Not a good thing. So ... Conor has to strengthen his quad (which is difficult on two fronts --- the pain from the screws and the nerve damage) in order for all of this to come together and the rod to heal well inside the femur. The x-rays are sooo cool. I wish I could get a copy to post them for you to see. Anyways ... this ortho doesn't need to see us till mid-February when hopefully the knee break will have healed sufficiently. In addition ... Conor can now fully weight bear on his leg! Unbelievable... nine weeks ago today ... Conor nearly lost that leg (nearly lost his life) and now there is every indication that full strength should return. No more wheelchair (that's been relegated to the spare room), soon no more crutches, graduation to a cane ... and then ...
Now the wrist is a bit of a different story. We are waiting for a call from the wrist specialist we saw a few weeks ago. He wants to consult with the wrist specialist at the General before formulating a plan of action. The wrist is misaligned ... out by about 2 mm. This cannot be left as is because it will slowly but surely wear away the joint. As I've said before, Conor no longer has any cartilage in his wrist joint. He will have arthritis.... but as the ortho says ... he's only 20 ... let's give him as long as possible before arthritis sets in. There is a surgery where they take a piece of bone from around your knee and transplant it into your wrist. The transplanted bone has cartilage attached and it will give Conor some additional years before the arthritis sets in. Conor didn't seem too put out by the thought of an additional surgery and realizes that NOW is the best time for it to occur. I suspect he's also figured out that he's a good healer (there's an understatement) and may as well have everything done now. The real down side of this, at the moment, is that they don't want him to weight bear on the wrist (so no regular crutch) because while they can repair the arm bone part of the wrist ... they cannot really do anything to the hand bone side if damage was to occur. Better safe than sorry. So ... we're just waiting for the wrist specialist to call us for the consultation ... I'll keep you posted on all developments.
Tonight, Conor and I will head over to the Bolgers for supper. Haven't been there for a while ... and frankly ... I've been suffering withdrawal! This will be Conor's first major outing ... and I am looking forward to it. Tomorrow, his beloved Colts are playing the despised Patriots (Conor's words here) and he is going over to his buddy Randy's house to watch the game! Two outings in one weekend ... such a gadabout! Needless to say (and all you mothers of teenagers/young adults can appreciate), the planning for the outing tomorrow is a little lacking ... but magically ... it will surely all come together at the last minute. I don't know how they does it ... but they does it!
Well .. there's my update. Still no major setbacks to report ... and that makes me feel so good. Everything is still on the right track and headed in the right direction. Luck (and divine intervention) is still on our side. Till the next time ... I remain ... very grateful, very hopeful and marginally less tired!
Friday, January 12, 2007
One Less Doctor
I remember back when Conor was in the ICU, one of the nurses there said that a sure sign of progress, was the removal of all the tubes ... all the paraphernalia. Another sure sign of progress ... is a doctor saying he no longer needs to see you. The trauma doctor gave Conor the "heave-ho" today. He was a very nice man, and truly amazed at Conor's recuperative abilities. Conor went to the appointment using his crutches (no more chair) and Dr Yelle could only smile. He sent him on his way with a prescription for more Celebrex, antiobiotics to keep on hand in the event of an infection (because the spleen has been removed, Conor is at higher risk for certain types of infections), the website for MedicAlert (to alert people to the lack of spleen) and a firm handshake (of Conor's broken hand).
Conor and I have spoken at length with the therapists who come to the home, and we have all agreed that Conor would not benefit greatly from institutional rehab. This means that Conor will continue his therapies at home, and in the next couple of weeks at outpatient physiotherapy (with weights, and equipment, etc). Conor --- of course --- is thrilled. No more hospital food, nor a limit on the amount of visitors. He gets to stay by his computer, his guitars, and all the comforts of home. To be honest, I too, am thrilled. The thought of multiple hospital visits again was daunting to me. Ciaran and I continue to be at his beck and call --- but even that has diminished somewhat in the past week. He is fiercely independent...wonder where he gets that from?!
He still has a few hurdles to pass. He does not want to be seen in public in his wheelchair or his crutches. He despises being stared at. In his own words, he has a big mouth ... and he would have to say something. If only to disavow the "starer" of any preconception of his mental ability. He knows, from first hand experience, the ignorance of a great many people. One of his close friends uses crutches/chair ... and Conor has seen first hand how strangers treat Corey. Corey is "all there" ... articulate, and very athletic ... in fact ... Corey plays basketball for Team Canada and is heading off to Beijing in 2008. I have been trying to persuade Conor to come with me to a shopping mall ... or out to a restaurant for breakfast. He is adamant (and supremely stubborn --- where does he get that from?!) ... not until he has mastered the crutches. This will be a battle of wills ... stayed tuned ...
Next week, we have more therapies in-house and another appointment with the orthopaedic surgeon on Friday. Wait until he sees Conor's progress ... a wrist that moves a centimetre a day ... and a knee that can now bend 110 degrees! He'll be blown away!
Good weekend all ... more updates next week.
Conor and I have spoken at length with the therapists who come to the home, and we have all agreed that Conor would not benefit greatly from institutional rehab. This means that Conor will continue his therapies at home, and in the next couple of weeks at outpatient physiotherapy (with weights, and equipment, etc). Conor --- of course --- is thrilled. No more hospital food, nor a limit on the amount of visitors. He gets to stay by his computer, his guitars, and all the comforts of home. To be honest, I too, am thrilled. The thought of multiple hospital visits again was daunting to me. Ciaran and I continue to be at his beck and call --- but even that has diminished somewhat in the past week. He is fiercely independent...wonder where he gets that from?!
He still has a few hurdles to pass. He does not want to be seen in public in his wheelchair or his crutches. He despises being stared at. In his own words, he has a big mouth ... and he would have to say something. If only to disavow the "starer" of any preconception of his mental ability. He knows, from first hand experience, the ignorance of a great many people. One of his close friends uses crutches/chair ... and Conor has seen first hand how strangers treat Corey. Corey is "all there" ... articulate, and very athletic ... in fact ... Corey plays basketball for Team Canada and is heading off to Beijing in 2008. I have been trying to persuade Conor to come with me to a shopping mall ... or out to a restaurant for breakfast. He is adamant (and supremely stubborn --- where does he get that from?!) ... not until he has mastered the crutches. This will be a battle of wills ... stayed tuned ...
Next week, we have more therapies in-house and another appointment with the orthopaedic surgeon on Friday. Wait until he sees Conor's progress ... a wrist that moves a centimetre a day ... and a knee that can now bend 110 degrees! He'll be blown away!
Good weekend all ... more updates next week.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Conor Walks
As you all know, Conor has had therapists come to the house ever since his discharge from hospital. This team (all lovely ladies by the way) provide a great deal of support to Conor. They mark his progress and by using their experience, provide tips and tools to progress even further .. even quicker. The Occupational Therapist brought her hand kit ... complete with balls, bean bags, and putty. After fifteen minutes ... Conor has been able to move his wrist back an extra centimetre ... he's thrilled.
Yesterday, Conor had the speech pathologist in the morning, and the physiotherapist in the afternoon. We had a few deliveries of equipment throughout the day, namely, a gutter crutch (the crutch has a horizontal pad for supporting the forearm) and a muscle stimulator. Julie, the physio, arrive late in the afternoon, and set to work. Five minutes after her arrival, Conor is walking (on crutches) down the hall. Ciaran and I are standing in the kitchen, and witness this incredible milestone. Ciaran turns to me and says "Are you crying, Mum?" Those of you that know me, know that I cry at everything ... TV shows, Hallmark commercials, paragraphs in novels ... and Ciaran always asks the obvious ... Are you crying? in that disgusted male voice. Of course I'm crying. Tears of pure joy. Conor has a look on his face that I will tuck away and place in that "vault" mothers all have in their head. You all know that look ... "Look at me ... I'm doing it!" He slow, he's cautious ... but man ... he's walking. The hard part for the physio is making sure he doesn't put more that 30 pounds of weight on the bad leg ... but she's enjoying this too.
She lets him enjoy this for about 5 minutes ... then it's back to the "torture chamber" for more exercise ... more progress.
I know I say this in just about every post ... I can't help it ... it's been my overriding emotion for the past 8 weeks. Gratitude. The word does not do justice to what I feel. To family .. to friends ... to these "strangers" that are making such an impact on our lives ... thank you. I feel so very inadequate in expressing what I really want to say. You all have touched me very deep inside ... and I don't know how to reciprocate.
I believe in "karma". I believe that what you "do" --- will be returned to you. My beliefs tell me that what I cannot "repay" ... the Great Weaver will repay. Your incredible acts of kindness and grace will be rewarded ...somehow--someday! Until then ... pat yourselves on the back and smile ... and know that you have truly made a difference. Bless you all!
Yesterday, Conor had the speech pathologist in the morning, and the physiotherapist in the afternoon. We had a few deliveries of equipment throughout the day, namely, a gutter crutch (the crutch has a horizontal pad for supporting the forearm) and a muscle stimulator. Julie, the physio, arrive late in the afternoon, and set to work. Five minutes after her arrival, Conor is walking (on crutches) down the hall. Ciaran and I are standing in the kitchen, and witness this incredible milestone. Ciaran turns to me and says "Are you crying, Mum?" Those of you that know me, know that I cry at everything ... TV shows, Hallmark commercials, paragraphs in novels ... and Ciaran always asks the obvious ... Are you crying? in that disgusted male voice. Of course I'm crying. Tears of pure joy. Conor has a look on his face that I will tuck away and place in that "vault" mothers all have in their head. You all know that look ... "Look at me ... I'm doing it!" He slow, he's cautious ... but man ... he's walking. The hard part for the physio is making sure he doesn't put more that 30 pounds of weight on the bad leg ... but she's enjoying this too.
She lets him enjoy this for about 5 minutes ... then it's back to the "torture chamber" for more exercise ... more progress.
I know I say this in just about every post ... I can't help it ... it's been my overriding emotion for the past 8 weeks. Gratitude. The word does not do justice to what I feel. To family .. to friends ... to these "strangers" that are making such an impact on our lives ... thank you. I feel so very inadequate in expressing what I really want to say. You all have touched me very deep inside ... and I don't know how to reciprocate.
I believe in "karma". I believe that what you "do" --- will be returned to you. My beliefs tell me that what I cannot "repay" ... the Great Weaver will repay. Your incredible acts of kindness and grace will be rewarded ...somehow--someday! Until then ... pat yourselves on the back and smile ... and know that you have truly made a difference. Bless you all!
Monday, January 8, 2007
Yet Another Step
Got a sprinkling of snow here in Ottawa ... not even enough to warrant shovelling! What a bizarre winter!
On Friday, Conor and I went to see the orthopaedic surgeon. He's a lovely man ... and God forbid you should need one ... but I'd highly recommend him. No nonsense ... hail and hearty ... Dr O'Neill is his name. He has allowed Conor 30% weight bearing on his leg. This isn't much ... and the physio has ordered him a special set of crutches given that he cannot bear weight on his right wrist. He can bend his knee 90 degrees which certainly makes moving him around much easier. He is taking only Celebrex for inflammation ... and Tylenol before physio appointments and at night. Extraordinary!
The cast came off the wrist and we're scheduled for a CT scan tomorrow morning. Dr O'Neill is concerned that it is 1-2 mm out of alignment and wants the CT scan to confirm. Talk about precision .... but as Dr O'Neill says ... he's young and we want him to have the best wrist possible for as long as possible ... before the arthritis sets in.
We were able to wash Conor's hand for the first time in seven weeks --- the dead skin that came off was unbelievable. He has some movement, but very little rotation. The physio was able to see him on Friday afternoon and give him a few exercises to promote blood flow and begin the healing process. It will take some time, of course, but fingers crossed he'll be playing Eric Clapton in no time!
This week we have therapists in every day, and an appointment with the Trauma Specialist on Friday. I am fitting in a dental appointment ... and Ciaran has gone back to school. Conor will miss Ciaran desperately ... as he is a source of much laughter ... and normalcy.
On normalcy ... Conor mentioned to me on Friday that a great many people are treating him differently. He wants everyone to know ... and this includes his internet buddies --- that he really is whole --- and very much Conor. Those of you that have seen him personally, can bear witness to this. While I must confess to treating him with kid gloves at times and being ever vigilant for change (however minuscule) ... Ciaran has never treated him any different than pre-accident. He concedes nothing to Conor ... "no quarter asked; no quarter given" .. and truthfully ... Conor prefers that kind of treatment. Those of you that only know him from cyberspace ... I know it's difficult to reconcile the extent of the injuries (and they are extremely serious), but let me assure you that the brain injury has not taken away the core of his personality (the sarcasm, the impatience, the humour, the kindness). In his own words ... I couldn't "problem solve" before the accident (his high school math marks can attest to that!)! He is all there, thank God ... that prayer has clearly been answered!
Since making it down to the basement ... he has changed considerably. He has a modicum of independence --- which he loves. He has gotten rid of the commode chair and rarely uses the wheelchair in the house (preferring to hop). His good leg .. his right leg .. is going to be pretty impressive from all the extra work. He has sorted out his musical library on his iPod and reconnected with all his buds online. He gets himself to bed and falls asleep when he wants. He entertains his guests downstairs now, and I think he's more comfortable without Mum and little brother being around. He is eating much better now and his appetite has truly returned ... so good to see!
I am so glad to be able to report such good news. I look back at the early posts on this blog ... and it's incredible to think that we have come so far in such a seemingly short time. He is thriving ... and I am so very grateful. Thank you all for you continued support ... your prayers ... they are invaluable.
On Friday, Conor and I went to see the orthopaedic surgeon. He's a lovely man ... and God forbid you should need one ... but I'd highly recommend him. No nonsense ... hail and hearty ... Dr O'Neill is his name. He has allowed Conor 30% weight bearing on his leg. This isn't much ... and the physio has ordered him a special set of crutches given that he cannot bear weight on his right wrist. He can bend his knee 90 degrees which certainly makes moving him around much easier. He is taking only Celebrex for inflammation ... and Tylenol before physio appointments and at night. Extraordinary!
The cast came off the wrist and we're scheduled for a CT scan tomorrow morning. Dr O'Neill is concerned that it is 1-2 mm out of alignment and wants the CT scan to confirm. Talk about precision .... but as Dr O'Neill says ... he's young and we want him to have the best wrist possible for as long as possible ... before the arthritis sets in.
We were able to wash Conor's hand for the first time in seven weeks --- the dead skin that came off was unbelievable. He has some movement, but very little rotation. The physio was able to see him on Friday afternoon and give him a few exercises to promote blood flow and begin the healing process. It will take some time, of course, but fingers crossed he'll be playing Eric Clapton in no time!
This week we have therapists in every day, and an appointment with the Trauma Specialist on Friday. I am fitting in a dental appointment ... and Ciaran has gone back to school. Conor will miss Ciaran desperately ... as he is a source of much laughter ... and normalcy.
On normalcy ... Conor mentioned to me on Friday that a great many people are treating him differently. He wants everyone to know ... and this includes his internet buddies --- that he really is whole --- and very much Conor. Those of you that have seen him personally, can bear witness to this. While I must confess to treating him with kid gloves at times and being ever vigilant for change (however minuscule) ... Ciaran has never treated him any different than pre-accident. He concedes nothing to Conor ... "no quarter asked; no quarter given" .. and truthfully ... Conor prefers that kind of treatment. Those of you that only know him from cyberspace ... I know it's difficult to reconcile the extent of the injuries (and they are extremely serious), but let me assure you that the brain injury has not taken away the core of his personality (the sarcasm, the impatience, the humour, the kindness). In his own words ... I couldn't "problem solve" before the accident (his high school math marks can attest to that!)! He is all there, thank God ... that prayer has clearly been answered!
Since making it down to the basement ... he has changed considerably. He has a modicum of independence --- which he loves. He has gotten rid of the commode chair and rarely uses the wheelchair in the house (preferring to hop). His good leg .. his right leg .. is going to be pretty impressive from all the extra work. He has sorted out his musical library on his iPod and reconnected with all his buds online. He gets himself to bed and falls asleep when he wants. He entertains his guests downstairs now, and I think he's more comfortable without Mum and little brother being around. He is eating much better now and his appetite has truly returned ... so good to see!
I am so glad to be able to report such good news. I look back at the early posts on this blog ... and it's incredible to think that we have come so far in such a seemingly short time. He is thriving ... and I am so very grateful. Thank you all for you continued support ... your prayers ... they are invaluable.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Nerve Damage
Good news ... bad news ... hopeful outcome.
Big day today ... major milestones achieved! Conor put himself into the car this afternoon. We had an appointment with the neurologist for a nerve conduction test. Ciaran wheeled Conor to the car ... and he loaded himself in. No assistance required.
When we got back from the neurologist, Conor made it down to the basement. He has been bugging us and bugging us ... and finally today I relented. Going down was not a problem. He went down on what is left of his arse! Then hop .. hop .. hop into his room and onto his computer to download his music collection onto his iPOD. He is truly home! Getting back up the stairs proved a bit more difficult. He was going to try "hopping" up the stairs ... but decided on using that wee arse again ... in reverse. When he got to the top of the stairs he scooched on his bum until he reached Mikey's chair ... then pulled himself up. Not the most graceful undertaking ... but oh so independent!
Now for the part in between these two milestones ... the nerve testing. Thank you Tommy for preparing Conor for the test! Again, not near as bad as the mental image. Conor had needles inserted into his leg at various points and electrical current is passed through the needles. The tests show that Conor has suffered severe damage to the femoral nerve. This is a major nerve which starts in the spine, runs through the pelvis/hip, down the thigh and through the inside of the calf. They tested the nerve activity at his pelvis, at his knee, and mid-calf. There is lots of activity at the pelvis ... but very limited activity at the knee. As a result ... Conor has some sensory changes in the middle of his inner calf.
Remember back 7 weeks, to when the original injury to Conor's leg occurred. He had no pulse in his foot and the Vascular surgeon made an incision on the inside of Conor's thigh. The pulse returned and the femoral artery bypass was not required. Then remember why Conor had the fasciotomies in his calf .. to relieve the incredible pressure building up in his calves. Immediately after the surgery ... his thigh was as big as me ... but after 24 hours, the swelling decreased and fasciotomies were not required in the thigh. This is probably when the damage to the nerve occurred. The neurologist is reasonably satisfied that full strength will return to the nerve over the next few months ... but perhaps not full sensation. His inner calf may feel "odd" ... but ... in the grand scheme of things ... Conor was in real danger of losing his leg --- a little sensation change in his calf we can all live with. The neurologist was happy to report that no surgical intervention was required (now or in the future) ... yet again ... time (and lots of physiotherapy) will heal. Conor took the news in stride ... I made sure he understood what the doctor was saying ... Conor shrugged it off, just pleased that there would be no more surgery.
Tomorrow morning we have an appointment with the ortho ... cast off the wrist and perhaps weight-bearing on the leg. I've negotiated with Conor to have him sleep on the main floor tonight (early start in the morning and I don't want to have to do grumpy!) and he can sleep in his own bed on Friday night. I don't know who is more thrilled with this arrangement ... Ciaran seems pretty chuffed to get his own bed back!
These are all such baby steps ... but they are incredible milestones in his recovery. Keep those prayers coming ... good thoughts required to keep those "baby steps" headed in the right direction!
Big day today ... major milestones achieved! Conor put himself into the car this afternoon. We had an appointment with the neurologist for a nerve conduction test. Ciaran wheeled Conor to the car ... and he loaded himself in. No assistance required.
When we got back from the neurologist, Conor made it down to the basement. He has been bugging us and bugging us ... and finally today I relented. Going down was not a problem. He went down on what is left of his arse! Then hop .. hop .. hop into his room and onto his computer to download his music collection onto his iPOD. He is truly home! Getting back up the stairs proved a bit more difficult. He was going to try "hopping" up the stairs ... but decided on using that wee arse again ... in reverse. When he got to the top of the stairs he scooched on his bum until he reached Mikey's chair ... then pulled himself up. Not the most graceful undertaking ... but oh so independent!
Now for the part in between these two milestones ... the nerve testing. Thank you Tommy for preparing Conor for the test! Again, not near as bad as the mental image. Conor had needles inserted into his leg at various points and electrical current is passed through the needles. The tests show that Conor has suffered severe damage to the femoral nerve. This is a major nerve which starts in the spine, runs through the pelvis/hip, down the thigh and through the inside of the calf. They tested the nerve activity at his pelvis, at his knee, and mid-calf. There is lots of activity at the pelvis ... but very limited activity at the knee. As a result ... Conor has some sensory changes in the middle of his inner calf.
Remember back 7 weeks, to when the original injury to Conor's leg occurred. He had no pulse in his foot and the Vascular surgeon made an incision on the inside of Conor's thigh. The pulse returned and the femoral artery bypass was not required. Then remember why Conor had the fasciotomies in his calf .. to relieve the incredible pressure building up in his calves. Immediately after the surgery ... his thigh was as big as me ... but after 24 hours, the swelling decreased and fasciotomies were not required in the thigh. This is probably when the damage to the nerve occurred. The neurologist is reasonably satisfied that full strength will return to the nerve over the next few months ... but perhaps not full sensation. His inner calf may feel "odd" ... but ... in the grand scheme of things ... Conor was in real danger of losing his leg --- a little sensation change in his calf we can all live with. The neurologist was happy to report that no surgical intervention was required (now or in the future) ... yet again ... time (and lots of physiotherapy) will heal. Conor took the news in stride ... I made sure he understood what the doctor was saying ... Conor shrugged it off, just pleased that there would be no more surgery.
Tomorrow morning we have an appointment with the ortho ... cast off the wrist and perhaps weight-bearing on the leg. I've negotiated with Conor to have him sleep on the main floor tonight (early start in the morning and I don't want to have to do grumpy!) and he can sleep in his own bed on Friday night. I don't know who is more thrilled with this arrangement ... Ciaran seems pretty chuffed to get his own bed back!
These are all such baby steps ... but they are incredible milestones in his recovery. Keep those prayers coming ... good thoughts required to keep those "baby steps" headed in the right direction!
Monday, January 1, 2007
Happy New Year
Happy New Year to all of you, and your families. A new year is exciting. It is filled with promise and hope ... like a new page in a copy book. You want everything to be perfect.
I went out for dinner last night with cousin Jimmy and cousin Scotty and their beautiful ladies. It was a lovely evening ... but a dreadful drive home ... the streets were like glass (icy rain again). I made it home to see in the New Year with my boys. Ciaran had friends over (thankfully nice kids) and Conor was on the computer connecting with his internet friends. It was quiet and very "undramatic", a welcome respite from our previous six weeks.
Conor was feeling a little "cabin fever" last night and bemoaning the fact that he couldn't "go out". A sharp look from me with a ... "in the grand scheme of things" ... and he was duly chastised. Do I get it ... you bet! He's 20 years old and he should have been out drinking with his buds! God willing ... he'll be doing that again soon enough. Does he understand just how fortunate --- how blessed he really is? Yeah .. he does. To those of you who have spoken with him ... his conversations are riddled with words like "lucky", "miracle" and "unbelievable". He truly is grateful ... but he's 20 ... and he's raring to go. Soon ... my son .... very soon!
This week is fairly quiet for us until Wednesday ... two therapies on Wednesday, a nerve conduction test on Thursday, and back to the ortho on Friday. No rest for the wicked! But as I said .. it's a new year ... filled with hope and expectation that this recovery will continue.
So enjoy the day ... hold on to those special feelings (which hopefully aren't marred by big heads and rumblin' tummies) ... and here's wishing that 2007 brings great joy and great prosperity to us all.
I went out for dinner last night with cousin Jimmy and cousin Scotty and their beautiful ladies. It was a lovely evening ... but a dreadful drive home ... the streets were like glass (icy rain again). I made it home to see in the New Year with my boys. Ciaran had friends over (thankfully nice kids) and Conor was on the computer connecting with his internet friends. It was quiet and very "undramatic", a welcome respite from our previous six weeks.
Conor was feeling a little "cabin fever" last night and bemoaning the fact that he couldn't "go out". A sharp look from me with a ... "in the grand scheme of things" ... and he was duly chastised. Do I get it ... you bet! He's 20 years old and he should have been out drinking with his buds! God willing ... he'll be doing that again soon enough. Does he understand just how fortunate --- how blessed he really is? Yeah .. he does. To those of you who have spoken with him ... his conversations are riddled with words like "lucky", "miracle" and "unbelievable". He truly is grateful ... but he's 20 ... and he's raring to go. Soon ... my son .... very soon!
This week is fairly quiet for us until Wednesday ... two therapies on Wednesday, a nerve conduction test on Thursday, and back to the ortho on Friday. No rest for the wicked! But as I said .. it's a new year ... filled with hope and expectation that this recovery will continue.
So enjoy the day ... hold on to those special feelings (which hopefully aren't marred by big heads and rumblin' tummies) ... and here's wishing that 2007 brings great joy and great prosperity to us all.
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