When I arrived, the nurses informed me that they had scheduled him for an x-ray of the abdomen. They thought their might have been some type of obstruction. Since last night he has vomited a couple of times and ripped his nose tube out. They have had to restrain him (doesn't like that at all!)
He is extremely active and unbelievable strong. He cannot seem to get comfortable and was quite groggy after the anaesthetic. But he spoke ... and he spoke ... and he spoke. He asked me when he was going home. This question was repeated many times during my visit. He also asked where his Dad was ... those who know me know that I am rarely lost for words ...
I told him that his Dad was watching over him ... and then my heart proceeded to break!
Apart from this ... Conor was certainly in the moment. He was able to tell the nurses where he worked (the address on Bank Street) and how long he had been working there. He was able to speak with each of his friends and shook hands, held hands and gave props. His speech is altered but it is coherent. He speaks in full sentences ...."Mum, can I go home with you?" He knows he has been in an accident and he knows that he is receiving the care he needs. He knows that everyone is coming to the hospital ... but for a mother ... walking away is next to impossible. I walked to my car alone, slid inside, and wept uncontrollably.
I don't want to appear ungrateful. The progress Conor has made in the past week is miraculous ... truly astounding! And I am truly humbled by his fight and unfathomable strength. To the parents reading this you'll clearly remember ... to the young people out there, you'll might have a recollection ...
I'll love you forever
I'll love you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be
This man lying in the hospital bed that seems too small for him ... is my baby! Leaving him behind, to the care of others, is harder than anything I have ever done before. That I lack the skills necessary to provide the proper care is irrelevant .... I'm his mother!
But ... I am resolute. I will learn to let others use their skill, and I will supplement their skill with love. To those of you that can visit Conor ... bring your love and give it openly and proudly knowing that you are a vital part of his recovery. That we have to leave him behind each night means nothing ... To those of you that are unable to visit ... think about him often and know that you, too, are bolstering his incredible strength. Don't diminish the power of positive thought ... despite the miles between you.
And I need you too. The cards, the phone calls, the posts on this blog --- all help me and Ciaran immeasurably. I am what you all make me ... I am only as strong as the crutches I have to lean on. I cannot walk this path without your love and support.
Say a special prayer tonight ... of gratitude ... and of hope.
9 comments:
A smile comes to my face everytime I get to read about the remarkable progress that you are making Conoorr... Keep it up missster! <33
To Conor's mom.. I just wanted to thank you for acknowledging those who aren't fortunate enough to have the ability to visit. I do think about him everyday and pray for him every night.
I have confidence that those you are entrusting with his care when you leave, do their utmost for Conor. He gets his strength from somewhere, and I think I've found it. Hang in there, we are all rooting for him <3
Chantal <33
Rose.. you have inspired me with great strength, I honestly look up to you as a strong woman, I know it must be hard to leave him behind. And I'm sorry for that. <3 But you make it each night. I'm honored that You allow me to see COnor as much as possible and I thank you for that, I honestly do.
I'm so glad he's imporving so well in such short time. WHAT A TROOPER!
Conor.
Man. I was happy to see you cooperate with others and talking to them, it was a blessing to see you tonight, and get to talk to you, and you responding. <3
It gave me much pleasure to see how strong you've become. Thank you for having my company. <3
I will see you soon guys.
Prayers, hope, and love is sended out your way, not just from me, but tons of his friends also.<3
Love you guys!
xx Jess. <3
He’s just proving us how strong he is by doing so well. And so are you, Rose, you have all the support from each and every one of us. All Conor needs right now is some confidence coming from you and his friends, and you all are doing a very good job providing it to him, as hard as it can be. Just hang in there.
Conor, you too, hang in there, buddy. People need you to come back to yourself. You have no idea how happy you make us with your wonderful progress. I love you. <3
I'm at work getting ready for inventory counting. I just finished reading what you wrote Rose. I nearly lost it but will let loose later. I have to see what I am counting. I love you three and the angel with the deep, booming voice (whom I miss terribly) very much. May God be with you and draw on His strength. It's so nice to hear that you are talking Conor. I pray for you all the time. You are always in my thoughts. I'll be checking in later.
Love you all always,
Diane and Auntie Diane xoxoxo
We are so happy with this news.
Keep up the hard work Conor for there is more to come.
Rose, Ciaran congratulations on your hard work to bring Conor along, he could not have done it without you pushing him and loving him.
You are in our thought always.
Joanne, Rob, TJ & Miles
As the tears stream down my face I cannot seem to find the words...
Except to say Conor, Ciaran & Rose you are sooooo loved!
Hugs,
J,K & K
Rose, I am so sorry to hear it when he mention about his dad. I know how you feel, but I know I won't be able to feel it as much as you do. Sadly, you have to go through all these things in one year. You're a stong woman and things will go your way next year. Let's hope it will be! I admire your greatness and eager to hold up after all that have happened. <3
Hi Rose,
This post is for you alone. You are one very stong human being and we are all very proud of you. But even though you're an Irish human being (probably the strongest of all!), we hope that you are finding some time and place to find your centres - as you know very well, this is what you'll need in the road ahead.
You know me very well, and you will know that your words on motherhood have touched a deep core - I'm weeping still.
Keep well, Rose, and please find some time to sleep and heal.
As always our love and prayers,
Ken, Linda and the girls
Rose, Conor & Ciaran,
All the Guilbeault's are thinking of you, and for you Conor, wishing you a speedy recovery.
Take Good Care,
Your Pine Lodge Family
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