BM

This will be a quick one ... it was a very tough day ... and it's taken its toll on me!

It was a good morning for Conor. The physios had him standing! Not for long ... but standing nonetheless. Today was the day that I told Conor that his dad had passed away. He has asked everyday since he began to speak. I have been able to deflect his question but responding with: Dad is with you ... Dad is watching over him. I was speaking to Conor's social worker and explained the situation and asked for her thoughts. She thought it best to let Conor know the truth now rather than later...later and there might be resentment. So .... Conor asked when I arrived. I very quietly explained that Dad had died in December. I also explained that we had all grieved his passing and that we all in a "good place" prior to Conor's accident. Conor looked at me and said ... "I'm sorry that I forgot". I asked him if he remembered and he slowly nodded his head, as two tears fell. I then added that he was perhaps confused because he had checked out a couple of times at the scene of the accident, and it was very likely that he got to see/speak to his Dad recently. I went on to say that Dad had remained on the other side, but that Conor was now back with us. Conor nodded his head ... and closed his eyes. Thankfully there was no agitation ... merely resignation.

I excused myself from Conor's bedside only to find I had had an audience. The x-ray techs were there to film his chest, the social worker and two nurses. The social worker quickly escorted me to a quiet room (a laundry cupboard) and praised me for handling it so well. It was, truly, the hardest thing I have ever, ever done! I was so frightened of Conor's reaction ... as it turned out ... there was nothing to be frightened of. My prayer tonight is that Conor retains that memory ... else this will be a nightmare version of Groundhog Day.

Onwards ... Conor is bored stiff and getting cranky! The lads at the LCBO are pitching in for a portable DVD. Hopefully ... fingers and toes crossed ... this will relieve some of the boredom. He insists that he can walk to the car ... or walk to the toilet ... and I've had to ask him to promise not to try unless there is a nurse or physio around!

The toilet ... turn away if you're timid! The first bowel movement ... Well, he's had a laxative ... he's had a suppository ... he's scheduled for a fleet enema! He is extremely agitated about the BM ... go figure ... and now that he's eating solid food (yup .... ham and potatoes tonight!) ... he's gotta get the first one out of the way to make room for all that grub!

We left him exhausted and sitting on the "potty" ... this saga will continue!